REJECTION LETTER from Pandora.com

I don't get them too often, but when I do, they're always a discouraging let down. I got an email today that said "the music curator team has decided to pass on my music at this time" and "As a policy, they choose not to discuss these matters on why they pass on certain albums."

What a bummer.

If you listen to Pandora and you'd like to hear my subversive music on there, be sure to let them know! If it's a matter of songs that are "too dirty" I have clean songs like "I Wanna Be Famous", "Vermont" and others. 

Email jasmyn@pandora.com and demand that Jessica Delfino Dirty Folk Rock hits get played on Pandora. We have power in numbers. If you want radio to stay mundane, do nothing. If you'd like to jazz the world up a bit, send this email which will take 20 seconds to do. 

If you're not sure what to write, just copy and paste this, or make adjustments to it: 

Dear Pandora: 

I'm a Pandora listener, and I want to hear Jessica Delfino's music on Pandora. Please ask your music curators to reconsider playing her music, especially "A SONG IN PARTICULAR THAT YOU LIKE"

Thank you, 

"YOUR NAME"

"YOUR LOCATION"

Thanks and happy listening, whatever you may be listening to.

SHOWS on Mon & Tue, New VIDEO Up,

I was in a MOVIE

Monday night I'm performing at Laughs at Giulia Rozzi's Laughs at Luca at Luca Lounge at 8:30, 222 Avenue B (between 13th/ 14th streets) in Manhattan. There is free pizza so you better bring your appetite. Tuesday you can catch me over at Parkside Lounge at 8 PM as part of Book Club Burlesque. 

My friend Raul posted this video from the last Skits'N'Tits online of me singing "My Pussy Is Magic" live, featuring a few super hot back up singers. Check it out! If you like it, share it and sing it really loudly at work. 

I was hired to play a part in a real live movie the other day. Here is a photo from the film. No, it wasn't a period piece, no, I wasn't portraying Bettie Page, no, it wasn't a dominatrix film, and it was totally PG rated. I was "a model dressed up as a pin up girl" having her photo taken in a very unusual way, which you will see if you see the movie. It's a slightly spicy photo, so don't show it to my mom. I spent a good part of the morning hiding in the dressing room because I was so embarrassed to come out with my ta tas and my ba donka donk all hangin' out, but the camera crew and other actors on the film were so encouraging and complimentary that I felt comfortable in no time. 

Oops, this film is still under wraps and this photo might be a secret, so don't show it to anyone! ;) I'll keep you posted when the movie is supposed to hit the streets. 

BUSY DAYS AND NIGHTS

It's fun to keep busy! This is a long one because I have a lot to talk about. I've been rockin' and rollin' this week doing shows all over the place with lots of great peeps. 

Flight 18 is still going strong but the series is coming to an end, so if you haven't seen it yet, you have a few chances left, including tonight at 7:29 and 9:29, tomorrow night at 7:29 and 9:29 and Sunday at 5 pm. It will run this weekend and next weekend and then, adios amigos. If you do plan to attend the show, bring an open mind, a discreet bottle and your dancing shoes. Check out what NY1 had to say about it HERE or visit www.flight18.net for tickets & more info. If you really want to see the show but can't swing the $18 smackers for a ticket, email me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com to volunteer to help on the flight in exchange for a ticket.

After the 9:29 show tonight, I'm headed to Brooklyn for a swingin' private party. So if you do come to Flight 18 tonight, go to the late show and then come to the party if you're feelin' crazy.

Last night was wicked fun with a double header -- Talent Show at The Gershwin Hotel with Elna Baker and friends, Mike Birbiglia, Dave Hill and a slew of other funny go getters. The packed audience was really into all the craziness of the DIY themed show. I taught the audience how to poorly play a singing saw, how to play a Q chord electronic autoharp and how to play a rape whistle. 

Then I hopped on my bike and scooted downtown to TriBeCa 92Y for Comedy Below Canal - Ben Lerman's Match Game where I was a panelist alongside Judy Gold, Michael Musto, NY1's Pat Kiernan, Frank DeCaro and Sara Schaefer. It was great to see so many of my friends in the audience and the show was rippin' fun. What a rowdy audience though -- if you're a contestant on the Match Game and you don't know how to play the game, be prepared for the audience to boo any sucky answers you give!

And don't be surprised if you get a boo from a panelist or two, either.

Photo Credit: http://miishi.tumblr.com/

To wrap up the evening, I zipped back up on my bike to the same hood I'd been in earlier for a late night audition for a part in a film in progress. I didn't get the main part I read for, but I ended up getting a smaller role -- It's a sexy little role, a "Betty Page-esque" character which works well for my current bangs. It shoots tomorrow in the East Village so I'm looking forward to that.

This weekend and coming week is full of little adventures and crazy times. Meetings, interviews, auditions, work, all part of the life I've made here for myself, in the big apple.

To close it out, here's a video I worked on with friends Jena Friedman, Elna Baker, Dave Hill and others. 

Rosetto Stonoli - watch more funny videos

Though I often feel like I'm constantly spinning my wheel like a hamster, this is the kind of stuff I'm turning out in the end with friends. I really love my friends and feel very lucky to have so many good ones. I marvel at all the hard work they do and how talented they are. That's why I've created a new show called "BESTIES" every month at The Slipper Room, celebrating all the people I've worked with in NYC over the past 8 big ones. (I keep changing the name...it was Top Friends but I like Besties better.) The next show is April 22nd at 8 PM. Be there to see all the funny ways in which I worship these great peeps! Starring Diane O'Debra, Frank Peffercorn and a few other gems. Are you on Facebook? If so, don't forget to confirm that you're coming so I know that you want to see this show.

I WANNA BE FAMOUS now for sale!

on Amazon.com

You guys! I'm really excited to say that my CD can now be purchased on Amazon.com. Also, I have asked friends to put reviews up and this is what they've had to say. Read their thoughts or add your own.

And don't forget to get your tickets for 92Y Match Game tomorrow night at 9!!

THRILLED FOR THURSDAY 

Ya gotta catch the triumphant return of "MATCH GAME LIVE" featuring Ben Lerman as host THIS THURSDAY at 9 PM, @ 92Y TriBeCa. Also on the show are NY1's Pat Kiernan, Village Voice's Michael Musto, Jimmy Fallon writer Sara Schaefer, comedy star Judy Gold, radio DJ / author / funny person Frank DeCaro, and myself. 

Also this Thursday at 8 I will be popping in to Elna Baker's show to give a demonstration of how operate unusual instruments, such as the singing saw, the electronic autoharp and the rape whistle. Other guests on the show are Paul Dinello, Mike Birbiglia, Dave Hill and others. I think it's going to be pretty amazing. 

I hope to see your pretty face there. Yeah, I'm talkin' to YOU, pretty face.

HAPPY BABY DAY

My sister Abby and and brother in law Brian welcomed their first child into the world today, a tiny, miniature sized human named Arabel. She is really cool looking in the photo. She's not freaking out or crying, just chillin' in her swaddling clothing, all hip in the latest newborn infant fashions, looking totally photo ready. I don't even look that good in photos after an hour of pre-prep and stuff. And she just popped out jazzed for her close up. She looks smart, too. I just judged that baby by her covers. 

I'm so excited to be the wacky, weird aunt who lets Arabel do all the stuff at my house that her mom and dad won't let her do -- eat candy before bed, watch HBO, all that good stuff, just like my wacky weird aunts used to let me do. I'm so happy and looking forward to all the good times together we have coming. 

Abby called me yesterday morning and said she was in the hospital, going into labor. She was having contractions so she'd have to pause every few minutes to be in a lot of pain. It made me feel badly to hear my sister in pain, but I was so honored that she called me to let me know it was time. I'm the oldest of our roost (6 girls!), but Abby is the first in our "litter" to have a baby. 

Pregnancy Warning: 

My sister said that giving birth hurt a LOT. I was afraid of that. I was hoping she'd be like, yeah, it wasn't as bad as they all say. Dammit. I should have had a kid when I was really young and too stupid to know it was going to be a big to do. But that's why I put it off, because even then I knew it was going to be really painful and a lot of hard work.

Congratulations Abby, Brian and baby Arabel. Welcome to the world. Though I've been wishing myself these things for awhile now to no avail, Arabel, I wish you health, wealth and wisdom. May your dreams come true for you. 

MEET LISA CARVER, WED's ALTERNATIVE TO GREEN BEER, 

THURS's NEW FUN SHOW, a new! THE MONTHLY VISITOR

Meet Lisa Carver, one of the world's most mesmerizing people. Scroll down to see an interview she did with Atari Teenage Riot for her old Rollerderby Zine, one of the coolest things in the world to have ever been invented. I toured with Lisa once, peeing on pizzas in several major cities for her "Drugs Are Nice" book tour. I met her because several people recommended me as the pizza pee-er. That's how you know you have a kick ass reputation: when SEVERAL people refer to you as a girl who they're pretty sure would pee on a pizza if prompted. 

Sadly, my peeing on pizza days have slowed down a bit, and I'm mostly just writing and working on having something of a normal life. Don't worry, I'll eventually get bored, implode and do something to get me freshly banned by the Catholic League instead of touting several year old ban. That's a promise. 

WARNING: FUN TIMES AHEAD

Whatcha doing on WED? Drinking green beer? Cute, but c'mon, you can do better. Why not hang with Craftermath from 7-9 at The Dressing Room's beautiful bar/boutique happy hour for free craft and video art fun and then go drink your green beers later? 75A Orchard St. btw Broome and Grand. Did I say free? We'll also have a "by donation" spiff it up station complete with bedazzlers, patches, St. Patty's related stuff and more. 7-9!

THEN on THURSDAY, March 18, I'm premiering a new show at the Slipper Room @ 168 Orchard St. It's called Top Friends! But I was also thinking of going with the name Top Fun (like Top Gun). What do you think? It's mainly a musical comedy show, but also with a few other comedy surprises thrown in so it's not all musical comedy, all the time. Doors at 7:30, show at 8-9ish, then talking, mingling and drinking til later. 

Featuring: 

* cock rock by Cock Lorge

* clever, funny stories by Shane Web

* the musical comedy stylings of Mindy Raf

* brainy, funny stand up by Amanda Melson

* sisterly (totally awesome) country comedy duo The Drelles 

* and then I will close out the show with a set - new dirty folk rock Jessica Delfino

After my show is an awesome NAKED ROCK BAND at The Slipper Room, so come for my show and stick around for that, it looks like it's going to be awesome. 

Oh, and by the by, the new MONTHLY VISITOR is out, my newsletter named after a lady-times metaphor. If you aren't on the mailing list, please email jessdelfino@yahoo.com with the email subject: MONTHLY VISITOR and I'll send one right out to you. Or check back in a few days and it will be posted on this blog. 

See you later, friendlies!

ATARI TEENAGE RIOT interview with LISA CARVER

In honor of International Women's Day

an OPEN CALL, & EVENTS ON DECK for this upcoming week

Today, let us revisit an oldie but goodie. Warning: NSFW, but it should be. Especially today.

OPEN CALL:

WANTED: Supporting singers / performers / musicians for an upcoming event in NYC. Please respond ASAP. Specifically: Percussionist, guitarist, female singers, 2 strong men.

Thanks and please get in touch asap for the details at jessdelfino@yahoo.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS

ON THE MENU THIS WEEK:

I'm going to be on the radio tonight with some friends, singer/comedian Phill Lentz, singer/songwriter Jessica Delfino & artist/bloodwrestler Daniella Day. Listen live from 8-9 HERE: http://centannibroadcasting.com/


Our Lady of Perpetual PMS and I will also be discussing our upcoming CRAFTERMATH show, next Wed. March 17th from 7-9, featuring the awesome videos of Lisa Hammer, new & unusual crafts by the Craftermath gang, and an unheard song by myself. Show admission is FREE and there are terrific drink specials (shot of whiskey & a beer for $5), not to mention a gorgeous boutique full of amazing clothes to peruse as you sip your booze. The Dressing Room, 75A Orchard St.


ALSO TONITE: The ECNY Awards, hot on the tail of the Oscars. Who will win best Emerging Comedian of NYC? Not me! (I won Best Musical Comedian a few years back.) But I'm still going to head over to COMIX to catch the magic, after my radio spot.


And THIS WED MARCH 10th, it's time for another fabulous SKITS'N'TITS! From 10 PM til it ends at 308 Bowery, NY, NY. Tickets are $8 at the door, $5 in advance. You can send us some happy juju and good vibes by clicking "Attending" on our FB page or leaving us a message that describes in detail what you will be wearing and / or drinking.


Finally, if you like psychadelic sci-fi performance art adventures, do not miss Flight 18. This show is a total departure (no pun intended) from what I normally do and I must admit, I find the freedom to be kinda freeing. This week: Thurs @ 7:30, Friday @ 7:30, 9:30, Sat @ 7:30, 9:30, Sun @ 5. 210 Front St., NYC.


I hope to see you somewhere soon. I will be looking for you. Don't let me down, Vanessa.

NEW  work related FASHION COLUMN

THE COLLARED SHEEP

I thought they asked, "How old do you look?" 

Heya. Though it's been a few years since I've had a classic "job" where ya punch in your time card (see? I told you it's been awhile) and hang out in a cubicle, and there's a water cooler and an accounting department and stuff like that, I still know good fashion when I see it. Just ask Time Out NY if you don't want to take my word for it. If you also don't want to take their word for it, I don't know what else to tell you, you skeptical bastard. Yes, I guess I'm automatically assuming you are male. 

Someone agreed enough with Time Out NY's opinion to give yours truly her very own work fashion related column. So check it out! And send YOUR work fashion related queries to "the experts." Um, "we" will toil and sweat over our laptops, desperately researching to get you the best answers possible. I swear to Crust!

A Three Hour Tour -- my trip to Cape Ann, Mass

Cape Ann Community Cinema rocks, free records, Amanda's Bananas

Yesterday around noon I hopped my booty into a shimmering, shiny, rented Ford Focus, scooped up my pal Our Lady of Perpetual PMS, tossed my guitar and some other gear into the back seat and scooted on up the coast line to Gloucester, Mass for a one night only engagement. I'm a very good driver with a bit of a lead foot and made it to our destination in just under 5 hours. 

I LOVE the Cape Ann Community Cinema. It's like a huge living room where you can have a comfy couch all to yourself while you watch a movie on a big white wall. Some couches even ROCK, literally as well as figuratively. The place is stocked with great movies, and they also rent many of the films out with a very lenient rental policy that I overheard as, "Yeah, just bring it back when you're done with it." That's the New England I know, love and miss. There, you don't fear that if you sit on a couch at a bar, there's a good chance you're sitting in a semen covered nest of bed bugs. And by "you" I guess I mean, "I." 

In addition, the place is stocked with tasty organic snacks like yummy nutritional yeast-ed popcorn and Amanda's frozen bananas, a very racy snack indeed, even for an already edgy fruit. Because it resembles what an african american penis looks like. 

Below the terrific CACC is a great record store which us gals foraged through briefly before we headed off for a pre-show dinner across the street at the Italian joint. The record store was huge, vast and so amazing. They even had a "Riscque comedy" bin, spelled just like that! I perused my genre, found a real gem and purchased it on the spot. 

Robert and the small audience that braved the cold New England weather to attend the show were gracious and interesting to talk to. Below, Our Lady of Perpetual PMS talks to about half the audience after the show and hocks some merch. 

We ended the show with a Q & A and chatted until we had nothing left to chat about. 

Our Lady of PPMS and I then scavenged some free records from the free records bin at that aforementioned great music store below CACC and then we jumped into our Focus and vanished into the snowy night. 

A good time was enjoyed by all. 

Our Lady of Perpetual PMS primps before a mirror at the

Italian restaurant across the street, post pee pee.