Sunday, March 29, 2009

Delfino HITCHES A RIDE North

Hitch-hiking -- it's dangerous. But there was a time when I did it often. I grew up in Maine where there was a shortage of normal people, much less murderous car drivers. This is a short video of me recounting a tale of the time I hitch-hiked to Canada to perform in the prestigious Montreal Comedy Festival. That was a few years ago back before I was a big star with my own (mini organic soybean fuel/electric hybrid) tour bus.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ms. Puss, Cat Star

I'd like to start by saying, I'm not a "cat woman" or "cat lover" or "creepo cat lady" but I do love this kitty. She's the cutest thing, as you can see! She's one of the most unique cats I've ever seen. She acts like a puppy in many ways. She plays fetch, she runs to the door when ever anyone knocks or comes in, like a guard kitty dog, she sleeps at the foot of my bed every night, she does tricks and she licks people, like a dog does. She thinks she's a dog. Fancy feast your eyes on the one, the only, Ms. Puss!!!! Shot by Peter Bernard, who is very close pals with Ms. Puss.

Monday, March 23, 2009

PHOTO of me in contest

Look! Look! Click here to see beautiful photo series my favorite photographer (of me) took that made it into this contest. Hire him to take pretty pictures of you! Visit Alex Smith's site here.

Sunday, March 22, 2009


Welcome to my blog. If you would like this mailing list emailed into your email box, please ask to be added at


Hello There all you lovely and nimble little neatos

I'm writing today with all the good stuff -- shows, new videos, and also -- JESSICA DELFINO ENTERPRISES is expanding. I'm looking to hire an organized, smart, head-on-straight P/T assistant who is available to help with my upcoming Summer 2009 UK tour. See listing below...

Spring is HERE and I won't shed a tear for Winter. F yu, Feb. F yu.



TONITE, Sunday March 22:

The Match Game LIVE with your host BEN LERMAN
@ 308 Bowery, 8 PM.
with Michael Musto, Sara Benincasa, Tara Leigh Copeland, Jessica Delfino and more.
Admission: $10
Compete, win prizes, Sunday night fun!
*THIS SHOW IS SO GREAT. I really encourage you to suck it up, dish out ten bones and catch this great remake of the 60s gameshow MATCH GAME.

Entertaining the Bartender with Jena Friedman
@ Public Assembly 70 N. 6th St (btw Kent and Wythe)
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
8 pm -- FREE-- BE THERE!

I'll be appearing on an episode of THE TYRA BANKS SHOW!!
I will let you know when it AIRS. If you want to be in the studio audience, let me know ASAP. Or to
get your own tickets and just D.I.Y., visit HERE

Borscht Variety Show
@ Sidewalk Cafe
Ave A at 7th St.
The economy is so bad, Ben Lerman and I got busted shoplifting snacks from Rite Aid!
Our community service is that we have to HOST COMEDY SHOWS.
Come see what the city is making us do.
8 PM -- FREE

See more of my upcoming shows at
I'm also on FACEBOOK.


Wed., April 8, 10 PM
comedy, burlesque, music and awesomeness
produced by Diane O'Debra, Steph Sabelli and Jessica Delfino
featuring Mike Albo, Matt McCarthy, The Chichiones, sketches
and videos by Diane Steph and Jess and SO MUCH MORE.
All for the economical price of $5.
And find us on Facebook


JESSICA'S CHEST OF TREASURES -- my weekly show featuring all the goodies I've picked up on my tours and adventures, with a song on one of my bevy of wild instruments every episode. Filmed and edited by Peter Bernard. Subscribe, share with friends, comment and enjoy -- MY CHEST of TREASURES:

Mask making, musical saw with my feet? and more!


Another episode (Episode 3) of JESSICA'S CHEST OF TREASURES: Unicorn high heels, my coin collection (nerd alert), New (very clumsy) keyboard song: Faux Pas In A Foreign Land:


HERE's JCOT, EPISODE 2, featuring a Qchord demonstration -- the most AMAZING and awesome instrument in all the world, second only to my flying V uke. (one of my fave episodes)


EPISODE 1 of JCOT features Ms. Puss, I sing my song “Chinatown” on a flying V ukulele, gay pink jail suit, and more. (I like this one a lot, too)

See Jessica's Chest website for photos, episodes, info and more, and be prepared to be ENTERTAINED:

PS -- You can watch Jessica's Chest of Treasures on MNN and BCAT every MONDAY night as part of Peter Bernard's 209 Show.




Additional assistant to help me focus on organizing my UK tour. I'm performing at 4 festivals and doing a solo show in London at the prestigious Soho Theater. I sold out my last show at Soho in the 80 seat theater, and now I get to work the 140 seater. I need someone to learn everything I have to teach about doing PR and help me put together and send out promo packets, emails and more. Time commitment is a coupla days a week for the next coupla months, from about 12 - 5. Flexible on days and times. Pay: Would LOVE to arrange a barter -- I will teach you everything I know about doing PR and kicking ass at it, plus I will feed you, and can also arrange for you to get college credits if you are in college. Tons of experience not necessary, attention to detail and organization skills are. Opportunity to join me for segment of UK trip and make commissions also possible -- we can discuss this further. Travel dates: July 16 - Sept. 1.

Email me a letter of why you'd be great for this gig, your availability, pay rate and experience to





This show has come highly recommended! I like Marc's comedy a lot, and I encourage you to see the show.

Marc Maron -- Scorching The Earth
The Green Room Theater, 45 Bleecker
7 PM -- google that shit for more info





"[A] comedy rock star. . . brilliant comedian/musician Jessy Delfino."

"Jessica Delfino has sang, danced, and comedianed her way to LES notoriety--some feat." --Time Out New York

See more press at
I'm also on FACEBOOK

Friday, March 20, 2009


Anyone looking for an awesome share? My friend Patrick, a very sweet, handsome, professional
dude has a large bedroom for rent in a 3 bedroom in the LES. If you are my friend, we'd be neighbor friends!

Jessica Delfino and her adorable boyfriend will be filming their appearance on the TYRA BANKS show this WEDNESDAY. Anyone want tickets to the
live taping? EMAIL ME at (The episode is about girls who carry too much crap around with them -- anyone who's ever seen me hauling my guitar, ukelele, large purse full of knick knacks and ding dongs can attest that I fit that bill pretty well.)

Ben Lerman's MATCH GAME REMAKE LIVE is this SUNDAY at 8 PM at 308 Bowery. Starring Ben, Michael Musto, Tara Leigh Copeland, Michael Musto and many more, this show is going to be so good. I was a panelist in the first show and will be
a panelist again with this esteemed crew of hilarious talkers. BE THERE. If you can't make Sunday, check out his BORSCHT variety show at The Sidewalk Cafe, tonite at 8 PM.

Jennifer Blowdryer's East Village Comix Sampler show and exhibit at The Tank yesterday was loads of fun and well attended! Here are a few pics:

More later, I'm so sure.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


Obama said getting the girls a dog was a "campaign promise" and that he bowled a 129 in the White House bowling lane which was a "special olympics" score. Who IS this man? Commander in Chief or a hilarious stand up comedian?

This is a character Rosie Rebel and I have been doing for awhile. Murl is a very large, very
agitated woman who is beyond description.

We took Murl out for a stroll yesterday in the sunny Lower East Side and nearly got arrested,
just for being Murl.

Here is a shot of Murl enjoying the day.

Stay tuned for a video, coming SOOOOON!!!!

In other news:

Shows this weekend!!

See me TONITE (Thurs) at The Tank MIDTOWN at 6 PM.

Saturday at Theater for the New City, 9th st @ 1st Ave. 11 PM.

Sunday at MATCH GAME LIVE (with Michael Musto!) at 308 Bowery at 1st St. 8 PM.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Matt the Meat Eater vs. Delfino the Detester of Dat Shit

NYC comedian Matt Ruby sent this rant out in an email blast today and I thought it was so funny and silly when I read it, it inspired me to respond. Enjoy!



Why do vegetarian restaurant menus always have fake meat products like Sham, Tofurkey, and Fake'n? These are the tribute bands of the food world. "Tonight, playing all the hits of real beef, it's Not Dogs!" And sham!? You're telling me right there the product is terrible. What do you order along with that? A bowl of the inferior-rip-off-chili?

At least meat eaters actually like meat. You don't see this at a steakhouse: "Tonight's special is Crock-oli.
That's where we take bacon, compress it into the shape of a broccoli stalk, remove it's flavor, and paint it green...because THAT'S what we secretly want to eat."

Bacon doesn't need a disguise. It doesn't need to get dressed up in a costume for Halloween. Bacon just shows up and goes,
"Knock, knock, I'm Bacon, trick or treat!" And it's always treat. Because it's bacon. And bacon is always treat.

Sorry veggie people, it doesn't make sense to hate meat but like its impostor. That's like saying, "I can't stand
Vegas, but Branson, Missouri is the bomb!" If ya love 'em so much, just let vegetables be vegetables.



As a vegetarian I will tell you (a rare admission) that I (and many other vegetarians) LOVE the "taste" of meat but choose not to eat it because of the massive amounts of damage it does to humans, animals, the planet, etc.

(Have you seen Fast Food Nation? Did you watch the ending scene? Wow...)

I miss eating rare steaks, burgers, bacon, etc., and can only get a shimmer of satisfaction by sniffing bacon or eating facon or Morning Star chik patties, etc. (BTW, bacon bits are actually not made of bacon at all.) But I feel better and am slimmer, healthier and am doing my small part to try to help this doomed planet. (Ask if you'd like me to elaborate.)

A close woman friend of mine in her 50s got a tumor in her woman parts from the steroids that go into meat, poultry and dairy. This is a common phenomenon for women of menopausal age -- their body chemicals are all out of wack as is, and then all the steroids present in the food they eat kick in and things get out of control. The steroids also cause and complicate other kinds of cancers in women (steroids make things, like tumors, grow faster and bigger) and men (colon cancer -- very popular among men -- you can thank the burger meat that can't completely digest in your colon for that!)

Also, young girls are getting their lady times earlier, starting at about age 10 or 11 due to the same thing -- more steroids in the milk, etc.

Meat makes moustaches grow on 10 y.o. girls bc of the unethical meat and poultry and dairy practices (such as putting steroids into chickens to make their breasts grow bigger so you can get a fatter, juicier chicken breast). Mmmm! Steroid-y chicken tits! Moustaches on 10 y.o. girls! Hot.

By eating fake chicken now, I am making an effort to avoid vag tumors later in life. Yay fake chicken!!

Plus, I actually do love the taste of seitan. That shit is GOOD. Ever had the orange seitan at Wild Ginger? If you are a meat-eater, I date you to take the Orange Seitan challenge. (I offered to take Matt there and treat him to it if he will take the orange seitan challenge. Will he have the tofurkey nuggets to do it?)

This is my final point -- most of the meat, dairy and poultry that you eat is so many parts steroids, drugs, bones and filler that unless you are getting top quality product, you are practically eating less meat than I do!

ha ha ah hahahahahaha SUCKER!


You can see Matt Ruby at his show WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE, "the comedy chat show with boundary issues!" Hosted by Matt Ruby and Mark Normand. With Donald Glover, Rory Scovel, and more. Friday, March 27, 9:30pm @ The Creek, 10-93 Jackson Ave at 49th Ave, Long Island City, NY. Just one subway stop from Brooklyn and Manhattan

See Jessica Delfino (that's me) TONITE at Ben Lerman's BORSCHT Variety Show, Sidewalk Cafe, 8 PM, and TOMORROW at Stand Up NY (8 pm and 10 pm shows) or later at The Creamsicles Rock N Roll Variety Show at Acme Underground, Great Jones and Lafayette, 10 PM til LATE.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

JESSICA DELFINO interview and other stuff

I did a mini interview with this cute website which focuses on women in business. Check it out...

In other news, TOMORROW NITE, WEDNESDAY MARCH 11 is the wonderful show which I am now a co-producer on along with STEPH SABELLI and DIANE O'DEBRA.

a smart, stylish variety show with a focus on comedy and burlesque
featuring in-house sketch team FFF and sassy burlesque stars of the day!

10 PM
308 Bowery @ 1st St. (Bowery Poetry Club)
hosted by Shappy Seascholtz

starring: music & comedy by Reggie Watts and Adira Amram and Mike Amato,
Burlesque and video by World Famous *BOB* and others, new sketches and videos
by FFF (Diane O'Debra, Steph Sabelli, Jessica Delfino and featuring Ben Lerman and
Jeff Dickinson), Leprechaun rap by Diane O'Debra, a mini solo set of musical hits
by Jessica Delfino, and much more for the winning price of $5. Don't miss this
amazing monthly burlesque and comedy show!!!

Monday, March 9, 2009

NEW CALGAL episode won lots of HONORS!!

#82 - Most Viewed (Today) - Nonprofits & Activism - South Korea
#15 - Top Favorited (Today) - Nonprofits & Activism
#60 - Top Favorited (This Week) - Nonprofits & Activism
#35 - Top Rated (Today) - Nonprofits & Activism


Learn some new factoids every day by watching CalGal Monday thru Friday.

(I am the voice of Callie. Rosie Rebel is the voice of Lollipop. CalGal is animated by Peter Bernard.)

On my way home last night, walking across Canal St. back to my neighborhood around 4 am or so, I snapped this photo with my camera -- I thought it was an example of somewhat brave advertising on the part of Fresh Direct. I imagine this should get the Catholic League on THEIR asses. Or maybe get them some seitanist customers.

Saturday, March 7, 2009


THIS COMING Monday, March 9th at midnight in Brooklyn, channel 56 or 69. In Manhattan it's on 2 hours later at 2 am on channnel 67 or 85. So set those TIVOS for the 209 Show, and I'll see you on TV!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Yeah, I said it. I had FUN reading a BLOG. It was entertaining and fun to read. A good jam on the old eye balls.

The first time I saw Wooooo magazine it was so cute and small I wanted to cover it with some Bonne Maman, put it between two pieces of bread and pretend to eat it. I read it and I enjoyed reading it, but reading
the blog tonight was even better. Did you ever watch a movie, then watch it again later and have a grand realization,
wondering what ass your head was in the last time you watched it? Yes, you have, just admit it and stop being all antidisestablismentarianism about it. That experience is what I felt with this.

PS. I just looked up antidisestablismentarianism in the dictionary to see if I spelled it right and it was not there.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


A note from a friend:

"Jimmy Fallon's Slow Jam The News is a lot like Newsjam, is all I'm sayin"

YOU be the judge...



In other news, Jimmy Kimmel: Newsjam's Ben Lerman and Jessica Delfino are for hire!

Email me at and we can talk biz.


HDNet, a national cable network, is looking to do a story
on Shoe Day, March 4th. We would like to focus on either a
group celebration of two to three lesbian couples that will
be hanging their shoes in a public/private location. The
story would include interviews of the couples together. I
will videotape the event with a small HD camera and no large
lights. Please let me know if you would be interested in
being on TV?

Tom DiDonato
HDNet Video journalist

THE LAST DIRTY FOLK ROCK SHOW (at least for awhile, till probably October if I
do decide to do it again) is TONITE -- WED MARCH 3, 8 PM @ SANTOS PARTY HOUSE, 100 Lafayette St.
just north of Canal. Mike Albo, Dave Hill, Livia Scott, Captain Hilarious, Kurt Metzger,
Hand Cancel and hosted by ME. THEME: Mythical Creatures Can Teach You Things.

VISIT to see a new episode of Jessica's Chest...of Treasures! (NOTE: This show is NOT A PORN. Unless you want it to be. Then it still isn't. But you should watch it anyway, because if you're the type of person who hopes it's porn, chances are, it won't matter that it's not actually porn. You'd probably wank to the illustrated monsters on a cereal box, wouldntcha, you big silly?)

Monday, March 2, 2009


I hope you can make one!


Jessica Delfino Dirty Folk Rock kids show for adults
Santos Party House -- 100 Lafayette St. just south of Canal
8 PM, $5, starring Mike Albo, Livia Scott, Dave Hill, Captain Hilarious,
Diane O'Debra, Kurt Metzger, King Aswad and more.
Theme: Mythical Creatures Can Teach You Things

THIS IS THE LAST KIDS SHOW for awhile, maybe forever!!


For those of you who missed last week's Synesthesia show at The Wild Project, I am sorry for you. It was a really amazing show! You can learn more about Electric Pear productions here and try to catch it again next year.