Sunday, September 27, 2009

BEING SICK SUCKS

It really sucks the motivation that I barely already have right the hell outta me. Here I am, just mindin' me own ps and qs, when I feel that old familiar and really annoying tickle in my throat. It starts as a little shimmy and turns into a full blown ugghhhh. Next thing I know, I'm lying in bed in a pair of jogging pants like some commoner.

I got invited to take part in what sounded like a really fun and amazing photo shoot yesterday (Sat) out at Coney Island, including a brunch meet and greet and EVERYTHING. I had been looking forward to it all week, but when I woke up on Saturday morning and looked at my pasty, shacked looking face in the morning, I knew there was no way Swinie and I were going to be able to make it. Do I have the swine flu? I dunno. I doubt it. I feel like hell on a cracker, but I don't feel unable to function. I can still sing a dirty ditty if need be.

Which is exactly what I did last night.

Though I had to cancel out on the photo shoot because I know when my face is in photo mode and when it's not, and I don't need no more bad photos out there floating around, after all, I AM a performer, I had no intention of cancelling the shows I had booked for the evening. That's one of the reasons I cancelled the shoot -- was so that I would have energy for the shows.

So I stayed in my apartment, pattering around in slippers and sipping diet coke all day and chewing those nasty zycam now and later knock offs, and I even briefly met up with a friend in the park for an hour of fresh air and writing.

Around 8, I started to get ready for my first show. It was called "Monkey Wrench" and took place at Gotham Improv. I dolled myself as best I could with clear goo spurting out of at least one facial orifice, grabbed my pink ukulele to distract people from my hideous sick face and hopped onto my bicycle. Unless my legs are detached, riding my bike is the way to get from point A to point B. Since I was wearing a pink glittery ball gown and gold heels, I got lots of whistles and hey babies, which I'm used to, but I could have been wearing one roller skate, one flip flop, jogging pants and a stained cardigan and the whistlers and hey baby-ers would still be out in full force. They see hair and lips and start flipping out like zoo animals. Any woman in NYC, regardless of looks, need only step outside to have her esteem raised by the masses of horny, standard-less, vocally fearless men constantly seeming to be endlessly roaming the streets in search of boobies to ogle.

The show was nice -- not super packed but there was a sweet, attentive audience in a great space. The acts that went on all had their strengths. I was backstage for most of the show, dabbing my face with a goober collector and making a large attempt to not interact too intensely with any other potential germ hosts, so I could only hear the show and not see it. After my set, I went into the audience, sat far away from other people and watched the last act. After the show, people tried to shake my hand and get friendly but I kept a fair distance and did no hand shaking. To help rid the planet of this deadly body shaker!

It was raining when I came outside and I was cold, so I forced myself onto the subway, leaving my beloved bike behind. I went home to collect a few things and went back out into the night for show # 2 in Dumbo. I paid for my subway ticket and went into the subway. After standing on the platform for about 30 minutes, the train voice guy said there would be no downtown F train due to police activity. So I took a taxi to the box truck convention -- one of the funnest shows I've done in a long time. It was a caravan of box trucks parked along a bright hidden alley in Dumbo. Each truck had something cool going on in it -- a twister truck, a jazz truck, a tea truck, a talk show truck. I entered the talk show truck and had a terrific time entertaining a very captive audience of truck-a-teers.

I walked home in the rain (my umbrella didn't do much to keep the drops off me) feeling the sickness inside of me behaving like a room full of kids with a substitute teacher, took the F train back to where it drops me off nearly in front of my home, and went immediately to bed.

There's my Saturday night in a very large nut shell.

Today I will stay inside since it's raining. I might jog up to 21st street to get my bike if I feel like kicking ass. Tonight I have a show at 308 Bowery -- Match Game, hosted by Ben Lerman. It's always a fun show, and I apologize in advance cyberly to anyone who may be within 4 feet of me. But I'm not sooo sick, I'm not coughing or hacking or sneezing, just seeping. So don't touch me to try to make out with me, if you know what's good for you.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

TONIGHT....TONIGHT...WON'T BE JUST ANY NIGHT...

No. Tonight is a very special night, because I'm performing tonight!! It's a smorgasbord of shows coming up in the next few days here:

TONITE, SAT, SEPT 26
Monkey Wrench
Gotham Improv, 48 W. 21 St. btw 5/6 Aves, 8 Fl.,
NY, NY, 10 PM, $10
Dial 801 to get in
For reservations, call 212-367-8222

And tonite at 12:30 I'm doing a very special SECRET show in a SECRET and awesome location, for 20 people at a time. If you are interested, please text me if you have my phone # or email me for more details at jessdelfino@yahoo.com. If you like weird clandestine shit, you will really dig this 12:30 thing.

And then tomorrow night...

TOMORROW, SUN, SEPT. 27
Match Game LIVE with Ben Lerman
308 Bowery, NY, NY
8 PM, $10
A remake on the old TV show starring famous and fake celebs! It's so much fun you'll _____ yourself. With Michael Musto and other special guests.

And MONDAY, SEPT 28
"No Laugh Track Required and Friends"
with improv by "2 Lady Katie" and "No Laugh Track Required"
Parkside Lounge, on Houston bt. Ave B (Clinton) and Attorney
8 PM, $10
An improv comedy show and I am the special guest!

On Tuesday, I am going to head down south towards Florida. More information on Southern stops shows COMING UP SOON!

Finally, don't forget: I'm doing a BIG SHOW at ARS NOVA on Nov. 12th. Get your tickets TODAY, NOW, HERE. This show WILL sell out. If you get your tickets in advance online ($10) you will get a free drink at the show, which is like, almost the cost of a ticket. Woah!

Monday, September 21, 2009

SUPER IMPORTANT TIDBIT ALERT:

I have changed my Twitter account from twitter.com/jessdelfino to twitter.com/jessicadelfino because when people searched Jessica Delfino on Twitter, my name didn't come up in the search, just three OTHER Jessica Delfino's who AREN'T me. And by "people searched" I mean, when "I searched".

If you love Twitter and you want to have a tweet a thon, look me up. I twuly can't wait to see you there. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.

Twa twa for now...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

BEN LERMAN at ARS NOVA!!

What? It's true! Ben Lerman is going to do an hour long ukulele music show at Ars Nova THIS THURSDAY at 8 PM. Do not miss it! Wish you'd been at his Edinburgh show but couldn't scrape together the $1000 or so bones it would have cost to make it all go down?

Fear not. For $15, you can see Ben's show here in NYC!

And here's a bonus -- it's his BIRTHDAY on Thursday, so it's gonna be pretty sweet. The first person to email me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com will get 2 free tickets to the show. Email me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com with the subject: BEN LERMAN'S SHOW.

You can buy tickets HERE

Then click here to get a free drink at the show(which practically covers the cost of the show ticket!!)

Wanna know more information about Ben? No problem! Click THIS one!

Ben Lerman is Jessica Delfino approved but don't take my word for it, check this video out yourself on Rooftop Films and decide for YOURSELF!

Monday, September 14, 2009

OLD PU$$Y, MEET NEW PU$$Y

As I've been *saying*, this video was shot in Scotland for a BBC TV show called "Laughtershock", a show which also featured NYC comedians Jamie Kilstein and Carolyn Castiglia, among others. Many of you may know the old video well, but these guys wanted to make their OWN video for the show. So, here it is. It's also featuring the new edited and re-mixed version of the "Magic" song which is on my CD, "I Wanna Be Famous", which by the way, if I do say so myself, sounds and looks terrific. It's a 2 CD disc with a full color poster and also features "The Rape Whistle" and 10 or so other gems.

So I now present to you, the new "My Pu$$y Is Magic". It's very pro-looking and it was a lot of fun to shoot, except that on the very last minute of the very last scene on the mountain, I got stung by a wasp. And you'll never guess where? That's RIGHT!
My arm.



Enjoy or don't, it's up to you. If you like it, dance around to it in your underwear, show it at your high school video night, and share it with your friends. If you hate it, share it with your enemies.

By contrast, here is the video by Matt Davis (MAD TV, Human Giant) if you haven't already seen or would like to revisit the older one.

Friday, September 11, 2009

MY PU$$Y -- $TILL MAGIC

While I was in Scotland, a gang of surly men known as the "Brown Eyed Boy" crew came along to my
show one night and told me they wanted me to be in their show, "Laughtershock", a pilot they were
filming for the BBC.

I fell in love with them all for being feminist men just crazy enough to dedicate their lives to putting
comedy taken to the next level on TV. In Britain, you can say PUSSY on TV and that, to me, is simply
titillating. (And to them!)

Anyway, BACK TO THE STORY -- we filmed a new super pro version of "My Pu$$y Is Magic" for their
TV show pilot. I love my old video too, directed by Matt Davis (MAD TV, Human Giant) but this was
THEIR show so they wanted to make THEIR OWN video, and the song has been remixed and remastered
since the old "My Pussy Is Magic" video came out, so we made a new video to match the new, shorter
(TV and radio approved length) and tighter song (mixed by Misha Volf in Brooklyn, NY).

The NEW VIDEO will be unveiled THIS WEEK -- I'm having a little bit of technical difficulty but check back
in a few days. I'll also post a blog update on Facebook and Twitter, so join my fan page, friend me on Facebook
or follow me on Twitter to get the latest updates. I'm a tech nerd and social networking junky so I'm always
up in that shit.

The CD, by the way, which the new song is on, is called "I Wanna Be Famous". A picture of it is below.
If you'd like to buy the CD, the best way to do it is an old-fashioned way -- paypal $12 to jessdelfino@yahoo.com
(if you're in America, $15 if you're overseas).



It's a 2 CD disc in a full color case with a full color poster. It's beautiful and I designed it myself. Even hard, cold
meanies have told me it's one of the most beautiful packages they've ever seen. And they are running out so get
yours before they are gone forever. The CD will be re-distributed by a different company at some point, but the
package will never be replicated so this is a LIMITED EDITION.

And here's something fun -- a classic, clunky but lovable comedy set by me at an Edinburgh Fringe Preview Show featuring the flying V ukulele hits, "A Stranger's Cock", "Classified Ass" (a song which I wrote about searching for love on the internet), and rape whistle song, "The Rape Whistle Song". (You can't really hear the ukulele that well because it's not plugged in. I didn't even know they were filming this show!)



Jessica, where are you going to be next, you ask? Great question. Look to the right column to see where my next show will be, or sign up to be on my monthly mailing list at jessdelfino@yahoo.com. This Tuesday, listen while I reveal my dark past and tell stories of go-go dancing through college on Sara Benincasa's "Get In Bed" show on Sirius Cosmo 111. I also have a big show coming up in November as part of ANT Fest at ARS NOVA and of course, there's the terrific monthly Skits'N'Tits I co-produce with Diane O'Debra & Steph Sabelli. Look for our pretty picture in the Sept. 17th print edition of Time Out NY! I'm doing a big US tour in March with Ben Lerman and I'm pretty excited about that. I will totes def keep you posted on more as we go, as I always do. Bye!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009



"ALWAYS" brand Maxi Pads Gets With The Program

Always has come out with a new line of maxi pads called "Infinity" (like the car, but they get less mileage) and their whole pitch for the product is "MAGIC" -- maybe I'm making a leap here, but I notice and appreciate the relation to magic in, on, and around the crotchal region.

So observant and appreciative of it am I, I wrote a whole rap ballad about it. Some of you may be
familiar with the OLD version / video but DID YOU KNOW? My Pu$$y Is Magic was remixed about a year ago by Misha Volf (and is on my latest CD, "I WANNA BE FAMOUS") and a new
video was produced by Brown Eyed Boy Productions for their British television pilot (you can say "pussy" on TV in Great Britain, which is just one more thing that makes Britain earn that "Great" prefix) "Laughtershock" in Scotland last month while I was there for Edinburgh Fringe Festival / touring the UK.

It's not online yet, however, it will be like, TOMORROW. But if you want to see it TODAY, come to SKITS'N'TITS tonite and see it's NYC debut presentation. 308 Bowery, 10 PM, 5 dizzys at the door.

If you wanna see just what the whatevers I'm talking about with this Always / Infinity / Magic shimmy shammy,
just click here to see their version of the magic poonani video.

Someone should really harness the marketing powers of this brain, and by "this" brain, I mean "my" brain -- I connected magic to vaginas years ago. I will monitor my mailbox for the next few days to see if my check arrives from Always. After that, I'm giving up, because it was probably lost in the mail.

In other news, here's a great little interview piece that came out a few days ago on STILETTO -- HIGH HEELS FOR THE MIND featuring one Ms. Jessica Delfino, aka me. Not only is this a well-written article, but this whole blog is great -- some might call feminist but I just call it pretty awesome. I read the whole thing in one sitting and wished for more. I'm looking forward to future entries.

Are you on Twitter? I am. I am slightly embarrassed -- nay, fudge that -- I'm proud to say that Twitter has grown on me and now I Twatter every day. Twat was that? You want to Twit along with me? Join in the good times -- twitter.com/jessdelfino.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

STRIPPED STORIES THIS THURSDAY

Oh shit! It's gonna be a sexy week! Burlesque on Wed at Skits'N'Tits (see entry below this one) and
Stripped Stories on Thursday. Order tickets in advance for Stripped Stories because this show sells
out.

MORE INFO:

STRIPPED STORIES hosted by Giulia Rozzi & Margot Leitman
Thursday September 10th, 2009
9:30pm
at The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
307 West 26th Street (at 8th Ave) NYC
$5 tickets available at 212 966 9176
or at http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/1799
Take ACE to 23rd Street

This month's theme is: "My Place or Yours?"
With special guests:
Adam Wade (ESPN, TV Land)
Jenna Brister (The Moth)
and music from Jessy Delfino (Edinburgh Festival, Sundance Channel)

STRIPPED STORIES the hit sex-themed storytelling show is back from
it's first national tour (we had sold out shows in almost all of our
cities-Boston, DC, LA, San Francisco, and Chicago!) Every month Giulia
Rozzi (MTV, VH1) & Margot Leitman (Spike TV, Conan O'Brien) invite
comedians, musicians and guests to reveal hysterically honest stories
about their sex lives. Giulia and Margot will also each reveal their
own juicy stories amidst games, audience interviews and hookups...
hopefully.

With a combined resume which includes appearances on NBC, ABC, Vh1,
Mtv, Comedy Central, AMC, ESPN, E!, various guest radio spots, and
features in Glamour and Playgirl Magazine, Giulia and Margot easily
blended their love of stories, silliness and sex to create Stripped
Stories. This themed night of hilarious sex stories has been playing
monthly to sold-out audiences since it first began in January 2007.

With guests spanning from award winning comedians to regular folks who
have never set foot on a stage, Stripped Stories pleases both critics
and audience members alike. Each month Giulia and Margot enable
audience members to laugh at their own sexual misadventures via the
brave guests who bare their souls on stage. With rave reviews from
Time Out NY, The Village Voice, Nerve.com and many others, Stripped
Stories is rapidly becoming a must see comedy event!

Monday, September 7, 2009



THIS WED at SKITS'N'TITS:

Diane, Steph and I do burlesque...or something like it! For reals! Don't miss this shit. It's going to be amazing or awful, but either way, it will be a spectacle to behold.

Also on the bill: duo comedy burlesque awesomes not seen the likes of since The O'Debra Twins -- Suspicious Packages! I'm so excited to have these girls in the show. They've been at a performance workshop retreat thing all summer in the desert and are bringing their hard work home to us, so don't let them down, be sure to BE THERE.

Rock band Hank and Cupcakes is on the bill and I'm excited because I haven't seen them yet.

Comedian Heather Fink is going to be in the show which is amazing because she has sorta "quit" doing comedy to focus on school and getting a learnin' on at NYU (I think?) so I'm really excited to have her in the show, because she's really great.

We will also have burlesque by Akynos who is awesome, and our house burlesque troupe The Chi-Chiones, also Little Miss Lixx and more.

Plus videos by Diane O'Debra and *possibly* if it all works out, the new "My Pussy Is Magic" video, taped in Scotland for a british television pilot! (Yep, you can say pussy on TV in Great Britain. That's one of the things that makes it so great.) And of course, our lovely host, Uncle Shappy, drink specials and giveaways by Pabst Blue Ribbon, your terrific bartender LEL and so much more.

This show's got it all, and by "it all" I mean, comedy, boobs and rock'n'roll. Doors are at 10, do be sure to arrive by 9:45 to get a good seat because this show gets SUPER packed. At $5 for all that show, it's no wonder why, now, is it?

Need more info? CLICK ON THE FACEBOOK INVITE HERE and don't forget to come! I know how you get busy, you make plans to do things and then you don't do them. It's ok, that's life, but we made a show for you to see, so come and see it!!

Friday, September 4, 2009

EDINBURGH FRINGE FEST ARTICLE - TimeOut NY



Ever want to go to Scotland to do the Fringe Festival? Here is an article I wrote which appears in Time Out NY that talks all about what it's like to do the damn thing, from a, well, from THIS New Yorker's point of view.

Lots of my NYC friends went this year and are mentioned in the article -- check it out!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

DELFINO’S DIATRIBE FALL 2009 - UK TOUR ROUND UP AND HIGHLIGHTS



Dear Friends and Frenemies:

Welcome to the Fall issue of Delfino’s Diatribe. I write to you just having returned from a 2-month whirlwind tour of Edinburgh, Galway, London, Reading & Leeds Festival and other spots in the UK. It’s been a long 2 months of performing, partying and debauchery.

TOUR ROUND UP / HIGHLIGHTS

First stop, Latitude Festival was a wild trip. A field in the middle of England with 30,000 earth conscious people was so much more cool and fun that it sounds like it might be on paper. Stuckey and Murray (and Mrs. Murray) and I traveled there together, and we also ran into NYC pal Jeffrey Lewis and made new friends, as well. Highlights of Latitude were hanging out with Stuckey & the Murrays and getting to see Grace Jones.

After Latitude, I dropped by old London town to do about a week at my beloved Soho Theatre. Jena Friedman accompanied me to London and opened the show. We also made pit stops at the Comedy Store, Soho Comedy Club, Comedy at the Cat, East Room and other spots. We made a great friend in London comedian Tom Webb and even got to hang out with Reggie Watts who’s show followed mine at Soho Theatre. Despite a small bout of food poisoning, I managed to have a wild and fun time. Jena and I shared a room in London and I was surprised how well we got along and how peaceful it was. I haven’t shared a room with anyone since before I got pimples. Highlights in London were having a 10 year old who saw me at Latitude Fest come back and bring his parents to see the Soho show and also recognizing other faces from Latitude who came to see the London show again, meeting Tom Webb, hanging out with Jena, getting to see friends Marisa and Rasp, getting to perform at the world famous Comedy Store, meeting Matt Kirshen, Nick Doody, Glenn Wool and others and hanging out with Reggie Watts in Soho Square on a lovely August afternoon.

Edinburgh was next. If you like exhaustive and intense three to four week long festivals with hundreds of shows a day in every genre, ya gotta go to this fest. Everyone there was drinking and ready and eager to bang. It’s like summer camp for adults / comedians. It’s horny, overcast, busy, bustling and most of all, crazy amounts of fun. Booze was the blood that fueled the monsters (and by monsters I mean comedians) running rampantly through the streets and bars, whether it was an upside down purple cow or some secret hidden away loft bar that you can only get into by sort of sneaking in. I was there for a month, sharing an apt with Ben Lerman and Mike Amato who became my family. We ate all our meals together and commiserated / celebrated each little failure / achievement.


Nothing takes the pain away like a Ben Lerman fritatta


I swore Ben was trying to tell me something the whole time we were there


But I couldn't quite figure out what he was trying to say

I also ran into many, many NYC pals – Carolyn Castiglia, Kristen Schaal and Kurt Branoler, Jamie Kilstein and many, many more, and even got to share the stage with Amanda Palmer and shoot a video for a BBC TV pilot while I was there.


This is not a scene from the BBC pilot, but a street performer in Edinburgh!

Highlights were getting to chat with Janeane Garofalo one afternoon about comedy, climbing to the top of Arthur’s Seat with Ben, Mike, Mike I and others at 4 am to watch a meteor shower and the sunrise, hanging out and taking bike rides with Marshall Cordell, meeting a new friend Nigel and going to see the Supper Room show with him at Assembly Room, seeing comedian Alistair McAlistair or whatever his name is – he was awesome, brunch with Ben and Mike every day and also the one big brunch we had at our place with tons of our favorite comedians and new friends, meeting all the new friends I did and performing my show to standing room only audiences almost every single night. My sweet boyfriend also flew to Edinburgh to meet me (after 5 weeks of tour) for the last week of my trip, and I have never been so happy to see any human being in my life as I was when I turned and saw him standing there with a smile on his face, waiting for me to notice he was right there, watching me.


Alex on a cliff

Next was Galway, Ireland where I was chauffered into the city in a gorgeous Jaguar by the super sweet and friendly Kevin who owns the Roisin Dubh bar I headlined. Highlights included meeting up with Ann Enzminger and Diane O’Debra while there, getting to do 2 great shows, being put up for 2 nights in the lovely venue flat, seeing the Cliffs of Moher and a castle or two and eating tons of fried mushrooms before getting the hell out of there.


Duff Beer!!!


Castle!

After Galway came Reading and Leeds Festival, the crown jewels of the tour. Reading and Leeds are world famous historic festivals and I was honored and thrilled to be invited to perform at both locations. (It’s a festival so massive it takes place in 2 locations 3 hours apart!) I rented a car and drove on the wrong side of the road. Highlights of the Reading and Leeds festival included performing, simply observing the mad amount of debauchery and craziness, and meeting Roddy, the pianist of Faith No More and getting back stage passes to see Faith No More on the NME stage at both Reading AND Leeds!





I also ran into a few friends, like Stuckey & Murray who also played both festivals, and comedian Vince Fluke, and found new comedian pals who I love now, like Doug Stanhope.

I flew into JFK last night and fell into my own sweet bed with a big, fat, satisfied smile on my face. When I say fat, I mean it – I think I gained 6 pounds completely from fries. Damn they eat a lotta potatoes over there!

Now it’s back to business as usual in NYC. I’ve got some great shows coming right up here in NYC in September.

UPCOMING SHOWS AND NEWS

Thurs, Sept. 3
Variety SHAC
UCB, 307 W. 26th St.
9 PM

Wed, Sept 9
Skits N Tits as part of the HOWL! Festival
308 Bowery
10 PM
$5

Thurs, Sept 10
Stripped Stories with Margot Leitman and Giulia Rozzi
UCB, 307 W. 26th St. NYC
9:30 PM
$5

Sat, Sept 12
Promise of NY
Dixon Place, 161A Christie St.
9 PM
A documentary about some regular folks who run for mayor which I am also in, though I’m not running for mayor. By Raul Alvarez.
TICKETS FOR THIS EVENT: https://www.ovationtix.com/trs/pe/7487155
WATCH THE TRAILER: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PaKCHYRkfo

And coming up in November, I’ll be rockin’ ANT Fest at Ars Nova. Look on the right hand column for more upcoming shows and show details, and for tour pics and a tour journal, scroll down or check the archives of this blog.

SOME TOUR RELATED PRESS

My review segment from DrownedInSound.com (Latitude Festival)
http://jessydelfino.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-first-latitude-fest-review-this.html
Full review of entire Latitude Festival:
http://drownedinsound.com/in_depth/4137440-latitude--the-dis-review

The List: Top 5 Free Fringe Shows To See:
http://edinburghfestival.list.co.uk/article/19272-top-five-free-fringe-shows/

The Guardian – Who’s Hot In Comedy:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2009/jul/27/comedy-comedy

The Guardian – Are A List Comedians Stealing The Show? (Quick Mention):
http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/aug/18/edinburgh-comedians

Edinburgh Fringe Guru Review:
http://www.fringeguru.com/editorial/reviews-09/jessica-delfino---i-wanna-be-famous.html

This Is London Interview:
http://www.londonisfunny.com/edinburgh/8633/10_Questions_with..._Jessica_Delfino

My show was a Time Out London editor’s pick! A quote from the listing:
“One of the weirdest and best things you’ll see this year”

Galway Advertiser
Proust Questionnaire – To be posted on my blog soon

Galway Enquirer
Lovely color piece - To be posted on my blog soon

If you see any press or photo links, good or bad, please send them to me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com.

CORNY BUT NECESSARY

I am not sure if I believe in luck -- I had so many great friends and people alongside me and helping to make sure that everything went right on this tour. The least I can do (besides absolutely nothing at all) is to dish out some well-deserved thank yous and good byes.

THANK YOUS TO MY FRIENDS WHO MADE IT ALL POSSIBLE

I’ve gotta toss out a whole lot of honorable mentions to pals who made the tour so much easier and without them, it would absolutely never have gone as smoothly as it did. As always, thanks to the US Catholic League for publicly denouncing me, you guys are the best! I owe so much to you.

Stuckey & Murray and Mrs. Murray, thank you for helping me during my travels to Latitude Festival, Ollie the Octopus, thank you for driving me all the way to London from Latitude, Jena Friedman, thanks for being a great friend and tour mate, thank you to Steve Lock and everyone at Soho Theatre, especially Tom Webb for helping Jena and I feel at home in London, and thank you so much to Marisa Carnesky & Rasp Thorne of Thornesky performer B&B who put Jena and I up and treated us with love and kindness and warm hospitality. If any performers are going to London and need a cheap, clean, beautiful place to stay, let me know and I will pass their info on to you.

Thank you Jennifer Hanson and Gimme Media for having so much faith in me and for being the best publicist a girl could ever want even if I never get to actually see you. Thank you Sarah Solemani for putting me in a taxi and getting me home when I had food poisoning, you are a true friend and I'm so glad I got to see you. Thank you Reggie Watts for carrying my suitcase home when I got sick and for being all around awesome, thank you Mike at Offline in Brixton, thank you Alex Petty, Neal of Jekyll & Hyde and Rob for making my fringe show run smoothly and for all your help, and thank you Alex Todd for all the great pics and the Scottish vocab lessons!

Thank you Marshall Cordell for introducing me to tons of great people and for your terrific advice and friendship, thank you Morgan Spurlock for introducing me to Marshall. Thanks for everything Ben Lerman and Mike Amato, who were my family and support system in Scotland. Thanks Carolyn Castiglia for sticking up for me to the old crazy man. Thanks so much to all the Brown Eyed Boy Production boys especially Gary and Nick Berry who became my chums and who I had a lot of fun with, and especially especially Gary, who I felt kindred to, and who gave me care and first aid when I was stung by a wasp while filming "My Pussy Is Magic" on Arthur's Seat -- magic it may be, but it's not magic enough to keep hostile biting insects away. I still can't wait to see the video!

Thank you Kernan Andrews for help with press whenever I come to Galway, I'm sad I didn't get to see you. Thank you Kevin Healy at Roisin Dubh for taking such great care of my friends and I. Thanks Diane O’Debra and Ann Enzminger for driving to the cliffs and for being a sweet breath of fresh American air, it was so great to spend time with you in Ireland.





Thank you SO SO MUCH Stephanie Clive for being the best artist liason I have ever had the pleasure of being liasoned by, and the sweetest person ever at Latitude Reading and Leeds, also a huge thank you to all the great people at Festival Republic for taking care of every single need and want I had.

Thank you Dad and Fernwood Printing for making my awesome flyers that were so beautiful that every single last one was given away. Thank you Kinka for babysitting my cat.

Thank you Alex M. Smith for your love and help and for traveling across an ocean just to be with me.

And big ups to all the others – you know who you are.

SHOUT OUTS TO OLD AND NEW PALS

A big shout out to Jenn Warren & Charlotte Hanbury, my new great UK pals, I had so much fun with you two it is WRONG. Thanks for everything to all the great folks at Latitude, Reading and Leeds (esp Latitude) who were amazing! Thanks to Annabel and my Leith FM Radio pals who I still owe a radio ID to, hello and good bye DJ from Latitude – it was great to meet you, see ya next time! If my new 10 year old friend is reading this, you and your 23 year old friend who looks 14 are the greatest frans ever! (Fan is almost an insult once you get to know someone, so I've come up with "fran" -- someone who starts out as a fan and quickly becomes a friend - only time will tell if they become friends or not...but I bet we will stay in touch!)

Hi and bye Amy Dickenson and Matt and Ben from BirmingHAM who I had a great time with. I hope to see you again someday, maybe in Birmingham. David Calvitto, I can’t wait to hang out with you in NYC!. Hi and bye to all the cute kids of that play – Adam and the gang and Rupert. Nigel - it was so great to meet you and to see the Pajama Men. I really enjoyed the times we got to hang out and talk and drink together! Mike I, Stacy Meyer and Anwar thank you for the great cooking and good times, see ya back in NYC. Mike I - thanks for leading us up the hill in the wee hours and for being a tireless, great friend. Jamie Kilstein - see you back in NYC - hope the rest of the festival went well for you.

Roddy and Tim from Faith No More, thanks a bunch for being so cool and not acting too famous to be nice. Hello and good bye to Die Roten Punkt’s Dan and Claire, Glenn Wool, Matt Kirshen, Nick Doody and their awesome and lovely ladies. And a very special thank you to all my new and old friends and fans who came to shows, bought CDs and tee shirts



and underwear that said “My Pussy Is Magic” on them



and bought me drinks and patted my back and dragged me out to drink and made me meals and fed me and loved me and made me feel warm, safe and comfy in a foreign land. Happy Birthday Tanya, I’m glad you got to spend it in such a beautiful place.

Talk to ya soon somewhere, someday again on this little tiny planet, beaches!