UK'S RUSSELL BRAND SHOW



I am going to London with The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players for the first two weeks of September after my debuting my show, "Songs About Vaginas" at the Edinburgh Festival this August, so I thought I'd contact some people in London and set some other shows to sing songs about vaginas and other juicy topics at, besides the shows I'm doing at Soho Theater with the Trachtenburgs. I wrote Russell Brand a letter asking him to consider putting me on his BBC radio show. I have to do these things myself, because I don't have a manager to do this kind of crap for me, and my record label doesn't really do this stuff, either. I was pretty glad to get a very quick response, asking me to contact the show.

I tried to call London but since I can't make long distance calls from my home line (a safe guard set up since I often leave town for chunks of time and have other people staying here) and since I can't make international calls on my Sprint PCS phone (though I do pay for that feature through Sprint PCS -- they truly suck a cold hot dog) I was having a little trouble getting in touch with them. I bought a calling card and tried that, too, but the number I was trying to call kept saying it was an incorrect number. I was dialing the wrong country code, thick American that I am.

In the meantime, a friend emailed me and told me that Russell Brand had read the letter I wrote to him over the air on his show and asked his listeners to tell him whether or not I should be on the show. Well.

Apparently, I am supposed to recommend that people contact Russell's show and tell them to either put me on or not. I found the whole thing to be a little silly and wasn't even going to get involved. But then I learned that some London bitches have spear-headed a campaign to keep me OFF the show. They found it offensive that I call my music "Dirty Folk Rock". Hmmm. That lit a spark under my hairy vagina and now I'm really steamed. I'm gonna those crooked toothed bitches that they're messing with the wrong princess of pervy ditties.

So who's with me?

Friends, strangers, weirdos, political people, CIA agents, dog walkers, other musicians, haters, beraters, elaters, waiters, skaters, placaters, darth vaders (people who dress up like him at festivals...?), and really anyone else who is something that rhymes with "aters" or literally any single other person who gives even half a crap or no crap at all...if you think it'd be fun, funny, stupid, or just otherwise feel like getting involved, LET'S DO THIS! Let's show this "Russell Brand", if that's his "real name", how we support our perverse musicians in NYC! And let's show those London hags that it's called "Dirty Folk Rock" for a reason!

Or something.

Here's the link you can go to to hear my letter segment being read on his show:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=U8V887YW

otherwise you can use the "listen again" feature, I am told. I think it's somewhere over here...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/brand/

And if you wanna get in on this retarded action, here is his email address, phone number and text. Do this today, as the show is tonight. Maybe you'll be live on the show, if you give a turd about that kind of thing.

CONTACT RUSSELL BRAND'S SHOW:

russell.brand@bbc.co.uk
Call: 0500 288 291
Text: 88291
www.myspace.com/RussellBrand

And...um...thanks!

For more information about Russell Brand, who actually has been up to some interesting things, as always, I suggest "googling" him!

GOOGLE RUSSELL BRAND

NEW POST ON BETTER BOYFRIEND BLOG!!!

My sick, twisted, mentally deranged boyfriend is at it again! I've updated my better boyfriend blog with his latest email to a girl who he keeps writing to and calling and promising that when he and I break up, he is going to have sex with her...against her will or not is left to be determined!

Good luck, Christopher / aka "the most honest man on earth!"


www.betterboyfriend.blogspot.com

NEW!Jessica Delfino Merch made by me! "My Pussy Is Magic" Ladies & Men's Undies! $10 each, or 3 for $25.

Briefs and boxers, (male and female) available in a variety of shapes, colors and sizes.

Other slogans available as well, such as "You don't lick my pussy right" and "Once a month for a week, I bleed from my vagina", and I even have a few pairs with photos of my face on them. Be the first person on your block to wear my visage on your nether regions.

Email jessdelfino@yahoo.com or paypal $10 & your size and address to jessdelfino@yahoo for yours today.




"PINK MAGIC"


"CAMO-TOE"


"LICK-RITE G-STRING"


"PERIOD PANTIES"

GOOD TIMES TONITE!

The starting sounds of summer are happening at the Gene Frankel
Underground Sat, July 7th @ 10:30PM as Groove MaMa Ink Presents:

MaMa's Monthly Music Fix

Featuring:
Jessica Delfino (Comedic)



Dalton Ridenhour and Band (Jazz)
The Fools (Acoustics)
and
Reggie Watts (Beatbox)
Hosted by: Rosie Rebel



WHEN: SAT, JULY 7TH @ 10:30PM
WHERE: GENE FRANKEL UNDERGROUND
24 BOND ST (BOWERY/LAFAYETTE)
COST: $12 INCLUDES A DRINK
RSVP (Seating Limited):INFO@GROOVEMAMAINK.COM 212-252-5341 OR

***This is a theatre : LATECOMERS CAN NOT BE SEATED***

FLYING WITCHES!!

This is so funny. Interesting, they say "she" a lot. VERY interesting, indeed!

NOTE: It turned out to be a bunch of balloons...I wanted it so badly to actually be flying witches.

RACHEL TRACTENBURG SEEKS A SONG FOR HER SHOW!!

Seeking someone to write a theme song for Rachel Trachtenburg's Morning Show which she will be doing in Edinburgh for the month of August.

Details: It's a kid's "morning" show. Rachel will be doing arts & crafts, cooking, ukelele songs, and more. There will be friends visiting her on-stage, puppets that "turn into real people", and other little surprises in the style of Rachel Trachtenburg.

No need to make a fancy recording, just give your song idea on a tape to Tina and Rachel. Email slideshowplayers@yahoo.com to work out giving them your tape. Rachel will be singing it and recording it herself.

Please get your song ideas in before July 14th!

FRIDAY NITE...

...awwww, shit! Don't you dare not come to see this show. I dare you to don't not.

There will also be a free bar-b-q with free food starting at 8 PM and going until the food runs out. So get there early, hungry ones!

SELF-EXPLORATION 201 - THE NEXT GENERATION

(This blog was originally founded on my late-night self-searching sessions and the internal spelunking adventures that take place in a young woman as she climbs the ladder up through her 20s. If you visit my archives, you'll see what I mean. This is like a revisit back to those days...)

Sometimes I catch myself in mid-madness and I am compelled to explore the "W's" associated with it - the whys, whos, wheres and how muches...is it self-analization or just narcissism? Am I a comedian? A witch? A scientist? Mildly retarded? All of the above? Come along, beside, and with me as I examine this email I recently wrote to a friend:

"I've been really bummed out because I feel like the more I look around and really psychoanalyze the world and the people in it, it seems like every single person I encounter or get close to is simply bat shit loony, or at least they are in relation to and / or when interacting with me, and I don't really understand it at all -- how that is or why. And the why is the part that really fucks me up. I fear that there is something in me that brings out the crazy in people. Like the way the moon affects the tides. I'm like the moon to people's crazy.

And I just can't figure it out, which drives me even crazier. But I think it has something to do with magnetism and / or electricity. Which makes me sound even more insane."

And I'm not even on drugs. Any. At all.

This is what rich people eat:

NEW VIDEO ALERT!

This time, it's for my song, "Lullabye" off my Dirty Folk Rock CD. The video was made by Checkerboard Phil and is somewhat low-tech, but still came out quite nicely.

Check it out!!



You can buy the CD with my song, "Lullaby" on it by sending $8 to paypal.com via jessdelfino@yahoo.com, or:

JESSICA DELFINO'S SONGS ON I-TUNES

And come see my show!

"Born From Jets"
with Captain Hilarious and other hilarious guests

More info from Toxicpop.com:

SATURDAY
COMEDY+MUSIC

WHAT: Born From Jets
WHEN: Sat 6.30 @ 10PM
WHERE: Mo Pitkins (34 Ave. A btw. E 2nd & 3rd Sts.)
PRICE: $7

http://www.captainhilarious.com

WHY:

This show will touch you quite inappropriately and repeatedly. Captain Hilarious
hosts an evening of quite varied variety, with bands and comics. That’s it. All
vitamins and minerals, no preservatives and no deadly additives. Featuring The
Bitter Poet, Jessica Delfino, Ursa Minor, Pat O’Shea and Working Mothers. All
this for only 7 bux. Much cheaper than that venti soy one-pump sugar-free iced
vanilla latte with whipped cream. (And why would you mix dairy with soy? We
don't even know).

THANK COCK!

Cock Lorge wrapped up his month long residency at Piano's this past Tuesday with a slew of red hot babes and bastards rockin' the mic with their comedy potatoes.

See some pics from the shindig here!

THANK COCK IT'S TUESDAY...

My band Haunted Pussy is playing The Marble Cemetery in NYC as part of the Make Music NY festival tomorrow, FREE, 4-5 PM. Here are more details:


www.myspace.com/hauntedpu55y

Homemade iced tea and watermelon pops will be provided for sale by the cup by the adorable Rachel Trachtenburg!

THE THRILLS OF PERFORMING

Last night I opened for Reggie Watts at Rififi and had a strange experience.

I was performing, and these two girls were sitting up high on a bench so they were above the rest of the audience. They were talking very loudly, enthusiastically gesticulating and drunkenly chattering. They talked through the host's opening, then through my set. So I joked around with them a little and tried to get them to shut up, but they kept talking loudly. So, I tried to joke with them some more, but it didn't clam them up. Then, I told them they were being distracting and asked them to stop talking so loudly, but they just kept yapping away, like they were sitting at a coffee shop. They weren't even heckling me, which would have at least been fun. Finally, other audience members yelled for them to shut up, but I bet you can guess what they didn't do.

So, I did something I've never done before - I actually kicked them out of the show! I politely said, I'm sorry ladies, but you're going to have to go. I also gave them the opportunity to come up and sit on the stage instead of leaving. But they opted to leave. It was pretty outrageous. They were kind of shocked and probably pretty embarrassed, and I almost felt badly for them, but they got exactly what they asked for. The audience (and I, internally) cheered at their leaving. I couldn't focus with them being so high up and so loud. After my set, I talked to another comic about it and he said he'd been in the earlier show and he said he thought that the same two girls did the same thing through their entire show, too!

Well, at the end of the show, Antonio (manager of Rififi) came over and handed me a note that one of the girls had written:



I laughed about it, because I know Evan and Jason of Steinberg Talent, and they've always been really nice guys to me. They work with a lot of my friends and we're very familiar with each other. So, when I got home, I dropped them an email explaining what happened.

Evan and Jason promptly wrote back to say that she was an impostor. Here's a segment Evan's very nice email:

"I am sorry to hear that you had such disruptive audience members the
other night and it sounds like you handled it in a very diplomatic and
professional manner. As you can imagine I have little patience for a
disruptive audience member myself."

"I do not know who this person is and I seriously doubt that they have
any afiliation with our company...there is no Laura."

"It is certainly not the way I want our company to be portrayed or represented."

Yep, they're decent guys over at Steinberg Talent. They represent Patrice O'Neal and a bevy of other very talented "main-stream" comics.

If you are a comedian performing at Rififi and see two loud girls sitting up high and talking, kick their asses out! Tell 'em it's from Jessica Delfino.

I will be keeping that note and framing it, perhaps to hang in my ladies room. So I can always remember this very special time in my life.

DELFINO AUCTION HOUSE BEGINS TODAY!

I'm selling some items from my private treasures collection to help fund my trip to Edinburgh this August. Today on the market, we have:

A FINE STOP SIGN

It's a regular size, shape and color stop sign, but there is a black spray paint spot about the size and shape of a baseball cap in the lower left hand part of the sign. It adds to the character! Someday, when you relocate to your summer home in New Hampshire, you'll be able to remember what it was like to live in the nitty gritty city. Below, see my photoshop re-created rendition of what the sign looks like with the tag.

I can't ship it, so if you want to buy it you'll have to pick it up from me in the Lower East Side, NYC. I live in an elevator building for your convenience. the sign is not on the post, and it is not very heavy. I may also be able to drop it off if you're nearby. Great for a set design, show set, play house, kid's room, table top, floor or ceiling piece, headboard, canvas, etc. It's pretty cool, but I need $50 more than I need the sign. So, that's my asking price, by the way. $50, OBO, which in the business, means "Or Best Offer". Duh.

Just so you know, the money is going to a good cause - I'll be posting items from my trove of treasures to help me gather some dinero for my big summer trip to perform in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. (Plane tickets to Edinburgh are going for $1400!) And by treasures, I mean everything from, well, stop signs to fancy hair care products that have never been used. Check back soon to see what else I have up for grabs, or if I've gotten rich yet.

You can pay with paypal.com or cash upon your pick up or delivery. Email jessdelfino@yahoo.com to inquire.

It's really too easy! Move over, Christie's! There's a new antique slinger in town.

Fun fact: I used to work at Christie's. How did I ever land that sweet gig?

LULLABYE...

This is a song that my mother used to sing to me before I would go to sleep at night...it might explain a thing or two about a thing or two.

Video by Checkerboard Phil! Starring Violet!

If you like the song, it's on my CD "Dirty Folk Rock" and also available on I-Tunes....bon apetit!



Come see me live this week -

TUESDAY JUNE 19th with COCK LORGE
@ Piano's
158 Ludlow @ Stanton
www.myspace.com/cocklorge
http://pianosnyc.com/
8 PM / $5

AND

TUESDAY JUNE 19th with REGGIE WATTS
@ Rififi
332 E. 11th St. @ 1st Ave, NYC
www.rififinyc.com
10 PM / $5

AND

WEDNESDAY JUNE 20th @ Bluestockings
appearing in JEFF STARK'S show "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"
172 Allen Street, Manhattan
http://www.bluestockings.com
7 PM / $5 suggested donation

AND

THURSDAY, JUNE 21st with "Make Music NY"
@ La Plaza Cultural
632-636 E 9th St, between Ave B and Ave C
2 PM / FREE!
www.makemusicny.org
(the website has the show listed as starting at 3:30, THAT IS WRONG!)

AND AGAIN

THURSDAY JUNE 21st at Get Psyched!
@ Rififi
332 E. 11th St. @ 1st Ave, NYC
www.rififinyc.com
8 PM / $5

...and a secret tip: I'll be performing in costume at The Marble Cemetery at 2nd Ave and 2nd St. from 4-5 PM in the east village on Thursday, June 21st. More info at www.myspace.com/hauntedpu55y

GONE TIL SEPTEMBER...

TONITE!!: OUR LAST RADICAL VAUDEVILLE SHOW UNTIL SEPT. 7

Friday. June 15 @ Midnight

Mo Pitkin's 34 Ave. A Downstairs BTW 2nd & 3rd St.s

BRUTALLY BRILLIANT ENTERTAINMENT DONE DIRT CHEAP $5


Your Host and MC: Henry Faulkner

Featuring the in house comedy stylings of Mo's Hos with The O'Debra
Twins, Jessica Delfino, Rosie Rebel and Steph Sabelli

This week's special guest stars:

Erin and her Cello
Karlita The Belly Dancer
Magic Brian
Ammo
Remy
Vangeline
The Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players

www.radicalvaudeville.com
www.surfreality.com
www.mopitkins.com

A Birthday Surprise

The nice people (who apparently have decent taste in tuneage) at weheartmusic.com wrote a lil' blurb about me, me, me.

READ IT HERE

And it's my birthday today!

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me...

My friends are taking me to the be-yatch. Cancer for my birthday! A bunch of ding dang sweeties is what they are.

In the meantime, here's a couple of nice little pictures to delight your senses, of Rosie Rebel and I presenting an award to NYC comedian Angry Bob at the O'Debbies last Monday. I guess you could say we put our whole selves into the event. (Yuck, yuck)

Photos by that delicious Julia Newman. www.julianewman.com

SHOWS FOR YOU TO SEE THIS WEEKEND...

...featuring me.

Tonight, Thursday, June 7th:

Throw Up! Variety Show
8 PM
Otto's Shrunken Head
538 East 14th Street between ave A and B

Featuring:

Tamar Kummel
Jessica Delfino (dirty folk rock and jokesies)
Jared The Conjuror
April Bruckner (ventriliquism at it's best)
Jambles: The Jam Band for Kids
Valmonte Sprout (performance art sometimes showcasing breasts!)
Jonathan Randall
Tanya O'Debra (funny lady with magical surprises)
Skrit Steak and the English Mufkins (musical mayhemic duo)

**********************************

And tomorrow, Friday, June 8th:

It's my birthday! So be nice to me, and buy me an instrument, especially one off my Amazon wish list, which is on my myspace page. If you buy me an instrument from my wishlist (HBO already bought me the autoharp, so I've been told), I will write a song for you with it and possibly use it on my new upcoming album...

For my birthday, I'd also really love home-made cards, artwork, music and non-tangibles, such as back rubs, foot rubs, people who can edit video for me, and other creative non-money changing hands kinds of gifts.

You can see my wishlist here: www.myspace.com/jessydelfino

And here's the wish list directly:



*******************************************

And the next day, Saturday, June 9th:

A Cavallo Carousel / Firehouse Party
9 PM - 5 AM
Fundraiser for A Cavallo, aka The Carousel (Burning Man Grant Recipient)
at circa 1870's firehouse in Brooklyn
199 Van Brunt St. (bet Seabring and Bowne)
B61 Bus stops right in front of the shop / ACF Jay St. Borough Hall

Mechanically propelled party wagon picks up at Smith / 9th St. F train stop
and runs from 9 pm - 3 am. Look for the sign of the horse

Featuring:

Six live bands! Acrobats, geeks and other acts of varying talent! Milling machines and industrial ventilation! And a 99 facet steel carousel horse you can swing on. Plus, the one trick pony show starring you and your thing! Back flip? Open a beer bottle with your eye socket? Uncanny Paul Lynde impression? Mandatory applause for each act and prizes of a certain value.

BANDS:

Whiskey & Whores - Brown Liquor Mayhem
Fabulous Entourage - Is it glam, Motown or disco? Yes!
Moisturizer - Bass, Trombone and Drums - like Morphine minus vocals plus balls
The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players - the first family of the east village
Anna Copacabanna - Go-go xylophone anthems from Australia via Staten Island!
AND (my band) Haunted Pussy - Just what it sounds like! www.hauntedpussy.com

All that for $15 smackers.

More info at: acavallo.org

******************************************

And FINALLY, Sunday, June 10th

The Mad Hatters will present their first
FUNDRAISING EXTRAVAGANZA
5:00-11:00+
Gallery Bar
120 Orchard St. (near Delancey)
5 pm - 11 pm
(***I'm going on around 7 PM I've been told***)

The Lower East Side, NYC

$20.00 at the door or $15 by PayPal to madhattersreview@yahoo.com through Saturday

The event will benefit the Mad Hatters' Review and its local programs promoting innovative art and literature. Mad Hatters' Review is a unique online multimedia magazine featuring edgy, experimental, gutsy, thematically broad, psychologically and philosophically sophisticated writings, music, art, collaborative ventures, poetry, fiction, non-fiction, dramatic pieces and experimental whatnots.

The extravaganza will include READINGS BY OFFBEAT PROSE WRITERS & POETS; A SHOWING OF EXPERIMENTAL ANIMATIONS (some collaborative); AVANT-GARDEY IMPROVISATIONAL MUSIC; DANCING TO LIVE MUSIC (SWING, WORLD, 60'S ROCK, REGGAE, CALYPSO, ETC.; PERFORMANCES BY TWO FABULOUS COMEDIANS [one of which is me, Jessica Delfino and I believe the other one is Dessere Birch][If I spelled your name wrong, Dessere, I'm sorry!]; A LATE SHOW OPEN MIC; and A SILENT AUCTION OF BOOKS, JOURNALS, AND ARTWORKS DONATED BY MAD HATTER CONTRIBUTORS & FANS. AND AND AND: $4 MAD HATTER FACOCTAILS & FREE EDIBLE TIDBITS.

Please see http://www.madhattersreview.com/events.shtml#june10 for more details!

Questions?
Contact Carol Novack (Publisher/Editor) and
Amy Bucciferro (PR Director) at madhattersreview@gmail.com
Subject Line: Fundraiser

*********************************

More great shows to come next week,
such as Chris "Shockwave" Sullivan's new 8-Track show,
so I'll update this very soon...

Enjoying an evening in the east village...from left to right:
Julia Newman, Rosie Rebel, Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Delfino

DID YOU MISS THE O'DEBBIE AWARDS?

Last night was a landmark event in Art Stardom with the O'Debra Twins' Third Annual O'Debbie Awards at The Bowery Poetry Club. The award ceremony / ball / havoc party is a spin and celebration on the O'Debra Twins' weekly open mic, "Show N Tell". It's a night of performance and rewards for people who deserve "Best Diarrhea Assquake" Award (Angry Bob) and "My Little Pony" award for "Best Ponytail" (Touching You aka Christopher X. Brodeur) among other prestigious titles. Featuring performers of all ilk, brand, styling, genre, hair color, and skill set, Show N' Tell is, just simply put, the best on-going show in NYC.

And I've seen a LOT of shows.

I've been going for three years now almost every week, because it's one of the few places on the planet where the world's normal social rules don't really apply. Just about anything goes there. So, if you attend, be prepared to see music, comedy, naked people, dancing, sketches, videos, combinations of any and all of those, and really anything that one can do on a stage. It's a veritable never-never land for performers of all kinds. If you appreciate good (and bad) live art, music and entertainment and have a penchant for the zany, you. must. attend. at. least. once. It's every Monday at 1o PM. $3. Not bad for 4 hours of high art.

Dustin Hoffman insists you go!

COME TO THIS!!!

For, what is guaranteed to truly be the time of your wretched life.
Red carpeted, ridiculous comedy awards...well, it's about time.

Dress to impress...interviews on the red carpet...
performances by Langhorne Slim and many, many more...

It's a very fun, funny time.

And I'll be presenting an award...

It's THIS COMING Monday.
10 PM
$5

I Wanna Be Famous...

...now the 82nd most commented-upon video in the history of YouTube...

Not bad for a small-town girl
doing this shit on her own.

CHECK IT OUT

I had a theory that if you write a song about being famous,
you'll become famous, a la Dr. Hook and many others.

The research on this experiment has proven interesting.

In other news, yesterday, I WANNA BE FAMOUS was featured
on both the front page of Myspace.com AND Youtube.com.

After about a week featured on Youtube.com and a day
on Myspace.com, it is no longer featured on either.
The views on Youtube.com topped out around 559,898.

Pretty interesting, considering I have no manager,
no promotional budget, and not much of anything
else, really, either.

"I WANNA BE FAMOUS" video...


...on the front page of MYSPACE today...

A lot of people have been writing to me, saying things like, "Who should I kill?"
and "I want to kill someone to get famous!" and things like that.

Uh...hehh...heh...
(uneasy laughter)

I'm just gonna put this out there:

Don't listen to cartoons. They lie.
Don't do what cartoons tell you in your mind to do!

Anyway,

I said I was going to kill somebody important.
Don't steal my trick! Get your own!

Don't listen to cartoons, but do listen to
what I am telling you to do right now:

Come see one of my shows tonight. You have two options:

TerraNova Festival Comedy Show
(assorted comedy)
10 PM
Mo Pitkins
34 Ave A bt. 2nd/3rd Sts.
NYC
Upstairs

Radical Vaudeville!
(very edgy variety show)
Midnight
Mo Pitkins
34 Ave A. bt. 2nd / 3rd Sts.
NYC
Downstairs
$5