ANOTHER VERY SPECIAL PUSSY
This is what I've become. That girl who blogs about cats. But this cat is worth mentioning. First of all, I am a serious cat lady. I had cats my whole life. I have seen them be born, die, and everything in between. My first cat, Rags, got hit by a car right before my very ten year old eyes. My last cat, Clementine, a descendant of Rags, lived to be 24. I don't have a cat now because my apartment is too small and I'm never home. But if I did have a cat, I'd get one of those asshole pet purses and stick that thing in it and carry it around with me everywhere I went. And I'd put it in my act. It seems appropriate.
This morning, I got treated to this adorable video of a very cute, friendly, obedient, awesome indy yuppie kitty named "Furgazi". I watched it three times in a row and laughed every time. Read the little blurb first, it sets up the video really nicely.
It makes me want to get a kitty and find a space in my tiny, crammed apartment to fit it. But I love kitties too much to do that. Maybe I'll just settle for a baby instead.
Now, treat yourself!
A short story about Furgazi: (as featured in Wooooo Mag's "Cat Of The Week")
http://www.wooooomag.com/
And the video:
http://www.wooooomag.net/fugazi.mov
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
SAMPLE SALE
My friend Sine has a great sample sale in TriBeCa. The clothes she sells are so beautiful. I wear a lot of them on stage and her designs are some of my favorite articles of clothing. They are the ones that I get the most compliments on of all my clothes. And I have a LOT of clothes.
If you would like to get some great deals on some lovely clothes, stop by Sine's sample sale. Coats, dresses, scarves, knits, accessories, handbags. Sine's clothes are sharp, sexy and sophisticated. She accepts credit cards too!
Go visit her lovely showroom, have a glass of wine and try on some clothes in a comfortable, laid back environment. Tell her Jessica sent you for an extra discount...
Sizes 2 - 12
Prices start at $10 and go up!
Sineh D Designer Showrom
151 Hudson Street (corner of Hubert)
Suite 3F
Tribeca
Nov. 10 - Dec. 14 -- every day, 11 am - 6 pm
212-431-4840
www.sinehd.com
My friend Sine has a great sample sale in TriBeCa. The clothes she sells are so beautiful. I wear a lot of them on stage and her designs are some of my favorite articles of clothing. They are the ones that I get the most compliments on of all my clothes. And I have a LOT of clothes.
If you would like to get some great deals on some lovely clothes, stop by Sine's sample sale. Coats, dresses, scarves, knits, accessories, handbags. Sine's clothes are sharp, sexy and sophisticated. She accepts credit cards too!
Go visit her lovely showroom, have a glass of wine and try on some clothes in a comfortable, laid back environment. Tell her Jessica sent you for an extra discount...
Sizes 2 - 12
Prices start at $10 and go up!
Sineh D Designer Showrom
151 Hudson Street (corner of Hubert)
Suite 3F
Tribeca
Nov. 10 - Dec. 14 -- every day, 11 am - 6 pm
212-431-4840
www.sinehd.com
Thursday, November 15, 2007
DELFINO'S DIATRIBE
NOVEMBER, 2007
Hello out there beautiful, ugly world, you old juxtaposition, you.
It's been a while since I've diatribed, but then again, it's been awhile since I've done a lot of things. I'm writing today with some, um, "exciting!" news. In this issue you'll find info about Morgan Spurlock's new documentary, a sample sale in Tribeca, my new website, upcoming shows and MORE.
I'll start off with my loveable diatribe and move on to news items.
NOVEMBER'S DIATRIBE:
This is going to be a long one, because right now, I've got nothing to complain about. I don't know what happened. Maybe it's all the spirulina or the kombucha I've been drinking. Maybe it's the new Whole Foods grocery store located just blocks away from my lower east side residence, stocked with every kind of fancy natural remedy you can think of. I've been trying them all. ALL, I say. Sometimes I mix them together in a soup like concoction, not unlike the combo from the days of my youth, when I would lock myself in the bathroom and play scientist, where I mixed shampoo, perfume, bleach, ammonia and everything else I could find together into a cup, until my parents busted down the door and punched me in the ass repeatedly for putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation. Maybe it's the weekly therapy session I've been attending for about a year, now. What I'm trying to say is, I DON'T KNOW. But my mind is like one of those chocolate cadbury eggs that you unwrap and suck all that white shit out of, leaving just the hollow shell to slowly nibble on until your fingers are covered in a sticky, slimy residue that you then suck off of each finger. Then you shake someone's hand later, but your hands aren't really dirty any more, and even if they were, the person who's hand you shook wouldn't know that their palms were covered in your mouth goo, anyway.
This kind of relaxed mind-set is not good for my business. It's certainly not good for my diatribes. My diatribes are fueled by ANGER! POVERTY! DEPRESSION! Right now, I'm not feeling any of those things. Don't worry, THEY'LL BE BACK. As far as poverty is concerned, I'm not overnight rich or anything, but the buddhist website I've been reading has helped me to appreciate what I DO have, MAN.
I've also been collecting some new, interesting instruments which have made me feel pretty cheery. So, for the remainder of my diatribe, I'll just talk about my new instrumental acquisitions, which are important and relevant to my line of work, which is vagina ditties. I got a new flying V ukelele in Scotland which is the most beautiful little thing I've ever held. It's even prettier than a baby or a kitten, and much cleaner and just all around better. When I take it outside, people RUN up to me on the street, and I get scared because I think they are going to attack me, (I prepare by getting out my rape whistle and getting poised to play my anti-rape song) but then they just excitedly scream, "WHAT IS THAT THING?" and "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?" and "IS THAT A FLYING V UKELELE?" and "OH MY GOD, CAN I SEE YOUR TINY GUITAR?" It has happened no less than ten times so far, and I can understand why. Every time I see it, I do that. On the buddhist website, it says you're not supposed to cherish physical belongings. But "f" that. Just looking at this thing makes me happy, ge-od de-amn it, and that's more than I can say about any of you shit for necks.
Also, recently, to get away from the hustle and bustle of love lost, I took a trip with dear, deary pal out into the outer world of ruralsville. There, my pal's parents treated me like a crimson queen, offering food and drink to me with a limitlessness reserved for royalty, celebrity, or politicy. I slept in a very firm bed (which I like) with about four comforters draped over me, like the princess and the pea, while a HARP watched guard over me while I dreamed about cupcakes and sugar factories. We spent the days walking and wiffling through the lovely wood, playing with an adorable puppy, tinkling the ivories, (a piano is a luxury that I don't have the space to afford) discussing new age themes, considering ways to get rich quick while we dined on ginger cookies, and otherwise engaged in a variety of assorted gluttonous uses of time.
As I was leaving, my parting gift was a Q-chord, an electronic auto-harp which was certainly invented by a direct ancestor of Stevie Nicks, or someone who comes from a long line of witches. It is a beautiful, magical instrument that makes me feel like a coven caretaker when I play it. I can't wait to write some filthy ballads on it to share with you all, once I learn how to play it. It is really the nicest gifty-gift (you know, besides like, love, or a heart-felt compliment) I think I've ever received, and if I had anything to diatribe about at all, the Q-chord removed any shred of it's existence from my life.
Unfortunately for you, I'm much funnier when I'm angry. But fortunately for you, my temper rages and my attitude is generally so bad that I am never happy for more than a few days or a week, at most. So, hopefully, when it's time for the next Diatribe to roll off my fingertips, I'll be hell-bent on tearing someone a brand new asshole.
Until next time,
Ms. Delfino's Diatribe
AND NOW, onto the greener pastures of the news. Let's start off with this little gem of a treat of a cupcake:
WHAT WOULD JESUS BUY?
Morgan "Super Size Me" Spurlock's newest documentary is coming OUT this FRIDAY, and I don't mean in a gay way. I mean, in a Cinema Village way. The documentary, entitled, "What Would Jesus Buy?" stars Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping Choir as they travel across the USA to save the multitudes of thick, fat Americans from the commercialization of Christmas. I am very excited and proud to say that I wrote a few of the songs featured in this film. You can hear them during the Christmas Caroling scene in the movie, when the Stop Shopping Choir goes door to door singing lyrics that I penned! It's a terrific scene and very funny. I do encourage you all to go and see the film THIS FRIDAY, Nov. 16th.
There will be a special Q & A after the 7:05 and the 9:20 PM showings where Morgan Spurlock and Reverend Billy will be on hand to hand-resolve all your pressing concerns and inquiries.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16
Cinema Village
22 East 12th Street
New York, NY 10013
212-924-3363
Visit the website:
www.wwjbmovie.com
AND ALSO ON FRIDAY:
Thank Cock It's Friday!
Cock Lorge is at it again with his raunchy musical party-time show at Piano's, feauring Seth Herzog, Dan Asselin, Georgia Haege, and myself, Jessica Delfino.
THIS FRIDAY, Nov. 16th
PIANOS
158 Ludlow Street
(at Stanton St.) NYC
7:30 PM
But that's not all. I've got lots of fun funny shows coming up. So don't miss this long list of wonderous times to come, as we kick off this collection of future shows with:
ANOTHER TERRIFIC SHOW THIS SATURDAY, in BROOKLYN, a place I rarely play:
Saturday Nov. 17th
Ed Schmidt's Dumbolio Monthly Variety Show
with Ed Schmidt, Corey Dargel, Lisa Levy, N.Y. Footbag Allstars, Josh Max, Scott Korb
Powerhouse Arena
37 Main St.,
Dumbo, Brooklyn, NYC
8 PM
$20 tix at www.smarttix.com
www.dumbolio.com
AND ON SUNDAY, come BUY SOME SHIT in TRIBECA:
My friend is having a sample sale at her snazzy Tribeca showroom featuring free wine and light snacks. The clothes she carries are from Denmark, and they are really beautiful -- they are the fittings of a princess-rock star, with fancy trimmings, yet they are also sleek and very hot. Many of her pieces are sold at Bergdorf Goodman and Barneys and are shown in Lucky Magazine. But here you can get them for cheapity cheap cheap, with some items (like the beautiful black cape-let I got) starting at $10, and of course, going up into the hundreds. All sizes.
THIS SUNDAY
Sineh d Designer Showroom
151 Hudson St. (corner of Hubert) Suite 3F
11 am - 6 pm
AND THIS MONDAY, another Brooklyn show:
Monday Nov. 19th
Jen Is Famous Comedy Show
Pete's Candy Store
Lorimer Street
Brooklyn, NY
7:30 PM
FREE
www.jenisfamous.com
AND ON TUESDAY, see "MY PUSSY IS MAGIC" on the BIG SCREEN, with the Happy Corp's video ensemble:
Tuesday Nov. 20th
Jessica Delfino Is Magic
Anthology Film Archives
corner of 2nd St and 2nd Ave
more info:
www.thehappycorp.com
SUPPORT BEN LERMAN'S new CD and "Ukelear Winter" tour!
www.benlerman.net
I'll be joining him in some of the shows on the tour, such as Nashville and Pittsburgh. Yeahaahhhahhh.
HANG with the VAG CREW at Vaginapalooza!!!
as part of the upcoming Wonder Woman Week Festival, Dec. 11 - 16th:
Saturday December 15th
Vaginapalooza
@ Center Stage 48 West 21st Street, 4th Floor, Buzzer #7
New York, NY 10010
9:30 PM
and see the full line-up for Wonder Woman Week in Flavorpill.net and more details
at Groovemama.com.
with Gina Vetro, Magin Schantz, Adira Amram, Dame Darcy & me, Jessica Delfino.
C'EST DUCKIE
This is a show I booked while I was in London, when I played to a very gay crowd of 300 or so very gay men at a very gay club. Guess how I was dressed? In my RED SUIT, like the Santa Claus gay-looking bitch I wish I never was. Very gay, indeed. This show will be at the CSV for much of December and some of January, and features Taylor Mac, Julie Atlas Muz and a bunch of other studded, starred stars and studs. You can see me in the show on these dates:
Friday December 21st
Monday December 24th
Wednesday December 26th
Thursday December 27th
Friday December 28th
Saturday December 29th
Sunday December 30th
Monday December 31st
C'est Duckie
CSV (produced by PS122)
107 Suffolk Street between Rivington & Delancey
with Taylor Mac, Julie Atlas Muz and many more...
Come visit my spaces:
NEWS and VIDEOS: www.myspace.com/jessydelfino
SONGS: www.myspace.com/jessicadelfinotunes
I never did get around to sending out my UK tour journal and photos, but if you really care, check my blog sometime, and it will be up there, one of these days. You can also see my Delfino's Diatribe in it's entirety there.
www.jessydelfino.blogspot.com
AND FINALLY, the last piece of exciting news in this diatribe:
MY NEW WEBSITE IS UP!!!
Thanks very, very much to my wonderful friend and webmaster, Florent, from France, who made this website WITH HIS HANDS!!!
www.jessicadelfino.com
Get a monthly Diatribe!
email: jessdelfino@yahoo.com
NOVEMBER, 2007
Hello out there beautiful, ugly world, you old juxtaposition, you.
It's been a while since I've diatribed, but then again, it's been awhile since I've done a lot of things. I'm writing today with some, um, "exciting!" news. In this issue you'll find info about Morgan Spurlock's new documentary, a sample sale in Tribeca, my new website, upcoming shows and MORE.
I'll start off with my loveable diatribe and move on to news items.
NOVEMBER'S DIATRIBE:
This is going to be a long one, because right now, I've got nothing to complain about. I don't know what happened. Maybe it's all the spirulina or the kombucha I've been drinking. Maybe it's the new Whole Foods grocery store located just blocks away from my lower east side residence, stocked with every kind of fancy natural remedy you can think of. I've been trying them all. ALL, I say. Sometimes I mix them together in a soup like concoction, not unlike the combo from the days of my youth, when I would lock myself in the bathroom and play scientist, where I mixed shampoo, perfume, bleach, ammonia and everything else I could find together into a cup, until my parents busted down the door and punched me in the ass repeatedly for putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation. Maybe it's the weekly therapy session I've been attending for about a year, now. What I'm trying to say is, I DON'T KNOW. But my mind is like one of those chocolate cadbury eggs that you unwrap and suck all that white shit out of, leaving just the hollow shell to slowly nibble on until your fingers are covered in a sticky, slimy residue that you then suck off of each finger. Then you shake someone's hand later, but your hands aren't really dirty any more, and even if they were, the person who's hand you shook wouldn't know that their palms were covered in your mouth goo, anyway.
This kind of relaxed mind-set is not good for my business. It's certainly not good for my diatribes. My diatribes are fueled by ANGER! POVERTY! DEPRESSION! Right now, I'm not feeling any of those things. Don't worry, THEY'LL BE BACK. As far as poverty is concerned, I'm not overnight rich or anything, but the buddhist website I've been reading has helped me to appreciate what I DO have, MAN.
I've also been collecting some new, interesting instruments which have made me feel pretty cheery. So, for the remainder of my diatribe, I'll just talk about my new instrumental acquisitions, which are important and relevant to my line of work, which is vagina ditties. I got a new flying V ukelele in Scotland which is the most beautiful little thing I've ever held. It's even prettier than a baby or a kitten, and much cleaner and just all around better. When I take it outside, people RUN up to me on the street, and I get scared because I think they are going to attack me, (I prepare by getting out my rape whistle and getting poised to play my anti-rape song) but then they just excitedly scream, "WHAT IS THAT THING?" and "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?" and "IS THAT A FLYING V UKELELE?" and "OH MY GOD, CAN I SEE YOUR TINY GUITAR?" It has happened no less than ten times so far, and I can understand why. Every time I see it, I do that. On the buddhist website, it says you're not supposed to cherish physical belongings. But "f" that. Just looking at this thing makes me happy, ge-od de-amn it, and that's more than I can say about any of you shit for necks.
Also, recently, to get away from the hustle and bustle of love lost, I took a trip with dear, deary pal out into the outer world of ruralsville. There, my pal's parents treated me like a crimson queen, offering food and drink to me with a limitlessness reserved for royalty, celebrity, or politicy. I slept in a very firm bed (which I like) with about four comforters draped over me, like the princess and the pea, while a HARP watched guard over me while I dreamed about cupcakes and sugar factories. We spent the days walking and wiffling through the lovely wood, playing with an adorable puppy, tinkling the ivories, (a piano is a luxury that I don't have the space to afford) discussing new age themes, considering ways to get rich quick while we dined on ginger cookies, and otherwise engaged in a variety of assorted gluttonous uses of time.
As I was leaving, my parting gift was a Q-chord, an electronic auto-harp which was certainly invented by a direct ancestor of Stevie Nicks, or someone who comes from a long line of witches. It is a beautiful, magical instrument that makes me feel like a coven caretaker when I play it. I can't wait to write some filthy ballads on it to share with you all, once I learn how to play it. It is really the nicest gifty-gift (you know, besides like, love, or a heart-felt compliment) I think I've ever received, and if I had anything to diatribe about at all, the Q-chord removed any shred of it's existence from my life.
Unfortunately for you, I'm much funnier when I'm angry. But fortunately for you, my temper rages and my attitude is generally so bad that I am never happy for more than a few days or a week, at most. So, hopefully, when it's time for the next Diatribe to roll off my fingertips, I'll be hell-bent on tearing someone a brand new asshole.
Until next time,
Ms. Delfino's Diatribe
AND NOW, onto the greener pastures of the news. Let's start off with this little gem of a treat of a cupcake:
WHAT WOULD JESUS BUY?
Morgan "Super Size Me" Spurlock's newest documentary is coming OUT this FRIDAY, and I don't mean in a gay way. I mean, in a Cinema Village way. The documentary, entitled, "What Would Jesus Buy?" stars Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping Choir as they travel across the USA to save the multitudes of thick, fat Americans from the commercialization of Christmas. I am very excited and proud to say that I wrote a few of the songs featured in this film. You can hear them during the Christmas Caroling scene in the movie, when the Stop Shopping Choir goes door to door singing lyrics that I penned! It's a terrific scene and very funny. I do encourage you all to go and see the film THIS FRIDAY, Nov. 16th.
There will be a special Q & A after the 7:05 and the 9:20 PM showings where Morgan Spurlock and Reverend Billy will be on hand to hand-resolve all your pressing concerns and inquiries.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16
Cinema Village
22 East 12th Street
New York, NY 10013
212-924-3363
Visit the website:
www.wwjbmovie.com
AND ALSO ON FRIDAY:
Thank Cock It's Friday!
Cock Lorge is at it again with his raunchy musical party-time show at Piano's, feauring Seth Herzog, Dan Asselin, Georgia Haege, and myself, Jessica Delfino.
THIS FRIDAY, Nov. 16th
PIANOS
158 Ludlow Street
(at Stanton St.) NYC
7:30 PM
But that's not all. I've got lots of fun funny shows coming up. So don't miss this long list of wonderous times to come, as we kick off this collection of future shows with:
ANOTHER TERRIFIC SHOW THIS SATURDAY, in BROOKLYN, a place I rarely play:
Saturday Nov. 17th
Ed Schmidt's Dumbolio Monthly Variety Show
with Ed Schmidt, Corey Dargel, Lisa Levy, N.Y. Footbag Allstars, Josh Max, Scott Korb
Powerhouse Arena
37 Main St.,
Dumbo, Brooklyn, NYC
8 PM
$20 tix at www.smarttix.com
www.dumbolio.com
AND ON SUNDAY, come BUY SOME SHIT in TRIBECA:
My friend is having a sample sale at her snazzy Tribeca showroom featuring free wine and light snacks. The clothes she carries are from Denmark, and they are really beautiful -- they are the fittings of a princess-rock star, with fancy trimmings, yet they are also sleek and very hot. Many of her pieces are sold at Bergdorf Goodman and Barneys and are shown in Lucky Magazine. But here you can get them for cheapity cheap cheap, with some items (like the beautiful black cape-let I got) starting at $10, and of course, going up into the hundreds. All sizes.
THIS SUNDAY
Sineh d Designer Showroom
151 Hudson St. (corner of Hubert) Suite 3F
11 am - 6 pm
AND THIS MONDAY, another Brooklyn show:
Monday Nov. 19th
Jen Is Famous Comedy Show
Pete's Candy Store
Lorimer Street
Brooklyn, NY
7:30 PM
FREE
www.jenisfamous.com
AND ON TUESDAY, see "MY PUSSY IS MAGIC" on the BIG SCREEN, with the Happy Corp's video ensemble:
Tuesday Nov. 20th
Jessica Delfino Is Magic
Anthology Film Archives
corner of 2nd St and 2nd Ave
more info:
www.thehappycorp.com
SUPPORT BEN LERMAN'S new CD and "Ukelear Winter" tour!
www.benlerman.net
I'll be joining him in some of the shows on the tour, such as Nashville and Pittsburgh. Yeahaahhhahhh.
HANG with the VAG CREW at Vaginapalooza!!!
as part of the upcoming Wonder Woman Week Festival, Dec. 11 - 16th:
Saturday December 15th
Vaginapalooza
@ Center Stage 48 West 21st Street, 4th Floor, Buzzer #7
New York, NY 10010
9:30 PM
and see the full line-up for Wonder Woman Week in Flavorpill.net and more details
at Groovemama.com.
with Gina Vetro, Magin Schantz, Adira Amram, Dame Darcy & me, Jessica Delfino.
C'EST DUCKIE
This is a show I booked while I was in London, when I played to a very gay crowd of 300 or so very gay men at a very gay club. Guess how I was dressed? In my RED SUIT, like the Santa Claus gay-looking bitch I wish I never was. Very gay, indeed. This show will be at the CSV for much of December and some of January, and features Taylor Mac, Julie Atlas Muz and a bunch of other studded, starred stars and studs. You can see me in the show on these dates:
Friday December 21st
Monday December 24th
Wednesday December 26th
Thursday December 27th
Friday December 28th
Saturday December 29th
Sunday December 30th
Monday December 31st
C'est Duckie
CSV (produced by PS122)
107 Suffolk Street between Rivington & Delancey
with Taylor Mac, Julie Atlas Muz and many more...
Come visit my spaces:
NEWS and VIDEOS: www.myspace.com/jessydelfino
SONGS: www.myspace.com/jessicadelfinotunes
I never did get around to sending out my UK tour journal and photos, but if you really care, check my blog sometime, and it will be up there, one of these days. You can also see my Delfino's Diatribe in it's entirety there.
www.jessydelfino.blogspot.com
AND FINALLY, the last piece of exciting news in this diatribe:
MY NEW WEBSITE IS UP!!!
Thanks very, very much to my wonderful friend and webmaster, Florent, from France, who made this website WITH HIS HANDS!!!
www.jessicadelfino.com
Get a monthly Diatribe!
email: jessdelfino@yahoo.com
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
WWJD?
What would Jesus do if he found out that the love of his life, his live-in, somewhat tumultuous on-again, off-again love had been engaging in a long and short distance relationship with someone who had performed sexual favors for them at K-Mart? What would he do with explicit pornographic photos that he had stumbled upon, verbose sexual ramblings and pitiful erotica?
What would Jesus do?
I know what Jessica Delfino would do. She would send the emails to the girl's fiance, post them and the photos on her blog and move out of her apartment.
I don't want to be like that, though.
I'm not Jesus, but I'm not going to behave as pathetically as the two people who hurt me, either.
That being said, I'm going to spend the next week relaxing and taking care of myself. I'm going to swim, like the dolphin that I am and I'm going to go get a chinese back rub. I'm going to hang out with my friends and people who I know care about me. And I'm going to let the cool winds of change blow some new adventures into my life.
What would Jesus do if he found out that the love of his life, his live-in, somewhat tumultuous on-again, off-again love had been engaging in a long and short distance relationship with someone who had performed sexual favors for them at K-Mart? What would he do with explicit pornographic photos that he had stumbled upon, verbose sexual ramblings and pitiful erotica?
What would Jesus do?
I know what Jessica Delfino would do. She would send the emails to the girl's fiance, post them and the photos on her blog and move out of her apartment.
I don't want to be like that, though.
I'm not Jesus, but I'm not going to behave as pathetically as the two people who hurt me, either.
That being said, I'm going to spend the next week relaxing and taking care of myself. I'm going to swim, like the dolphin that I am and I'm going to go get a chinese back rub. I'm going to hang out with my friends and people who I know care about me. And I'm going to let the cool winds of change blow some new adventures into my life.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
ALL ABOUT ME
When I started this blog four or five years ago (seems like just yesterday!) I began it with the intention of writing every day so that I could become the best writer in the world, or at least good enough to write one damn stinkin' book, if I did nothing else with my life, ever. I used to write little stories and poems a lot, mostly when I had day jobs, because I hated working at those lame temp jobs and it was really thrilling to be getting paid to write entries on my blog (when I should have been filing) to show the man he couldn't hold me down forever!
Another thing I always used to do on my blog was write very revealing stories about ME. What I was doing, what I was going to do, what I was working on, what a dick my boyfriend was, how much my life sucked, and on and boring on.
I haven't really been writing on my blog lately, because I bored myself off of it. I have mostly just been using it to post show flyers and comedy related tid-bits, which is just as boring, but a lot less divulging. Which is bad for the reader, but good for the readee.
But another thing I realized with the now nearing a million views of my FAMOUS video was that I like my anonymity, actually, or what is left of it. No one knows who I am, except for those 800,000 youtube watchers, and those people only exist on the internet. And I like that. I don't really want to lose that. Can you imagine having to fight off the paparazzi every time you stepped out the door to pick up a grande latte? And what about having to wear underwear or else your crotch would be some dude in Ohio's screen saver? I don't want to live in that world.
I'm not rich or famous, though maybe I will be someday. I may not be writing as much on my blog as I used to, and I may not be revealing as much personal information as I used to (did you ever really give a shit anyway?) But regardless, I promise to continue writing the most ribald dirty folk rock songs I can muster, and I promise, no matter how famous I get or don't get, to never wear underwear. I believe the beaver should be free! Just like this blog -- of embarrassing details of my life.
Maybe that means I'm growing up?
Ughh, gross.
When I started this blog four or five years ago (seems like just yesterday!) I began it with the intention of writing every day so that I could become the best writer in the world, or at least good enough to write one damn stinkin' book, if I did nothing else with my life, ever. I used to write little stories and poems a lot, mostly when I had day jobs, because I hated working at those lame temp jobs and it was really thrilling to be getting paid to write entries on my blog (when I should have been filing) to show the man he couldn't hold me down forever!
Another thing I always used to do on my blog was write very revealing stories about ME. What I was doing, what I was going to do, what I was working on, what a dick my boyfriend was, how much my life sucked, and on and boring on.
I haven't really been writing on my blog lately, because I bored myself off of it. I have mostly just been using it to post show flyers and comedy related tid-bits, which is just as boring, but a lot less divulging. Which is bad for the reader, but good for the readee.
But another thing I realized with the now nearing a million views of my FAMOUS video was that I like my anonymity, actually, or what is left of it. No one knows who I am, except for those 800,000 youtube watchers, and those people only exist on the internet. And I like that. I don't really want to lose that. Can you imagine having to fight off the paparazzi every time you stepped out the door to pick up a grande latte? And what about having to wear underwear or else your crotch would be some dude in Ohio's screen saver? I don't want to live in that world.
I'm not rich or famous, though maybe I will be someday. I may not be writing as much on my blog as I used to, and I may not be revealing as much personal information as I used to (did you ever really give a shit anyway?) But regardless, I promise to continue writing the most ribald dirty folk rock songs I can muster, and I promise, no matter how famous I get or don't get, to never wear underwear. I believe the beaver should be free! Just like this blog -- of embarrassing details of my life.
Maybe that means I'm growing up?
Ughh, gross.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
THIS MONDAY, 8:30 PM
Come to A Night of Wonderment at Castle Verde, featuring Gina Vetro, Magin Schantz, Bilge Baron, The Gargoyles (Rob Bose and Arik aka "Juggernut"), Rosie Rebel and YOU! At the new lovely Green Room Theater, 45 Bleecker Street at Lafayette. Tickets are $12 but you can get them for $6 with this fancy code:
"Two for one tickets available with code 8T2FOR1 at door or online."
You can see all four shows at the theater that night for $6!
This is my Halloween extravaganza show featuring Bilge Baron, who has been awoken from a scary spell by a ghoulish gurgley man. She must entertain and fellate him daily if she wants to keep the spell from returning - or find someone to take her place! Maybe it will be you? Bring your spooky act to audition for the part of gurgley man fellater / entertainer!! Now, doesn't that sound like fun?
More Info:
http://off-book.com/the8track/oct22flyer.jpg
Come to A Night of Wonderment at Castle Verde, featuring Gina Vetro, Magin Schantz, Bilge Baron, The Gargoyles (Rob Bose and Arik aka "Juggernut"), Rosie Rebel and YOU! At the new lovely Green Room Theater, 45 Bleecker Street at Lafayette. Tickets are $12 but you can get them for $6 with this fancy code:
"Two for one tickets available with code 8T2FOR1 at door or online."
You can see all four shows at the theater that night for $6!
This is my Halloween extravaganza show featuring Bilge Baron, who has been awoken from a scary spell by a ghoulish gurgley man. She must entertain and fellate him daily if she wants to keep the spell from returning - or find someone to take her place! Maybe it will be you? Bring your spooky act to audition for the part of gurgley man fellater / entertainer!! Now, doesn't that sound like fun?
More Info:
http://off-book.com/the8track/oct22flyer.jpg
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
JESSICA DELFINO IN A COUTURE BATTLE! THIS THURSDAY!
I always loved couture as a young sassmouth in small town America where I spent many an afternoon being babysat by the most recent issue of ELLE, Seventeen (which my dad wouldn't let me read til I was Seventeen because "I wasn't 17", JANE and VOGUE. I would then put it down and put on my flannel. Well, things have changed and I don't have to wear flannel anymore -- unless I want to! But I still love that crazy couture all those skinny hags would model, hanging off their meatless bones like a tent hanging on a tree branch.
Now the time has come for me to experience couture first hand.
Two Questions:
1. Do you love crass couture and feral fashion?
2. Do you love Jessica Delfino?
If so, you shouldn't miss this show that I'm performing/competing in. It's a fashion battle called "Style Wars". Contestants (8 groups of us of whom were hand-picked for a combo platter of performance-y type spirit meets erratic sense of fashion) will fight to the DEATH in a three round power house clothes-off!
In my corner, I am very proud to have on my fighting team Ji-won Li and Magin Schantz, two fearless scissor toting bitches who will sew our opulent opponents a new dress hole! There is cash money at stake and some serious glitz to be garnered. I'm in this to win this!
Here is more information about the show, which is THIS SATURDAY, OCT 13th at 10 PM at Don Hill. This isn't going to be a Calvin Klein cat walk, NO! This is going to be a scathing, high-energy madhouse, replete with antics, tricks, cliques, shticks, pricks, musics and kicks. Present will be the paparazzi, the press and celebrity guests, so dress to impress! If you plan to attend and would like to be on team "a few tricks up her tightly tailored sleeves" Delfino, email me and let me know! I could use a few more good women and men and I have some planzzz.
SHOW DETAILS:
(From Flavorpill.net):
House of Diehl presents Style Wars: The Style Battle Championships
when: Sat 10.13 (10pm)
where: Don Hill's (511 Greenwich St, 212.219.2850) map
price: $12 / $8 advance
links: houseofdiehl.com
Feeling that the hip-hop set shouldn't have all the fun, House of Diehl is staging a battle tour — for couture. Aspiring designers go head-to-head with minimal materials, audience members as models, and DJs Druzzi & Mattie (Throne of Blood/the Rapture) and the Ruff Kids shredding the decks. A panel of celebrity judges — including Mick Rock, Casey Spooner, Princess Superstar, and Whitney Museum curator Shamim Momin — decides who earns a handsome cash prize and goes on to the grand finale, set for later in the year. Sit back and watch as Project Runway-style competition plays out live and gets unruly. (RB)
Note: Be on the lookout for Flavorpill spot-rockers Justin and Myla, who'll be taking shots for the photo gallery on our recent events page.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Oooh, oooh, and here's another something fun...
SOMETHING FUN
It's T-Top Trans Am! starring Ben Lerman, Diane O'Debra and others...don't forget to rate it and pass it on, god dammit all to hell
SOMETHING FUN
It's T-Top Trans Am! starring Ben Lerman, Diane O'Debra and others...don't forget to rate it and pass it on, god dammit all to hell
HERE'S SOMETHING FUN!
(Click on the above HERE'S SOMETHING FUN! to see something fun)
(If you must know in advance, it's a video starring one Mr. Reggie "Who Doesn't Love This Guy" Watts called "What About Blowjobs?")
And guess who the freaky green alien girl from the future is? Just guess! No, guess! I'm not going to tell you! You have to guess!
And in other news, tonight is your last chance to see HOT BLOOD, the coolest show on the face of the planet.
VORTEX THEATER
11th Ave bet. 22nd and 23rd Streets
It's the only thing on that block besides UHAUL
(across the highway from Chelsea Piers)
Delicious bloody marys & sangria available for cheap-y
$15 for the show experience of your life
Very inspiring show, really!!
8 PM - do not miss it!
(Click on the above HERE'S SOMETHING FUN! to see something fun)
(If you must know in advance, it's a video starring one Mr. Reggie "Who Doesn't Love This Guy" Watts called "What About Blowjobs?")
And guess who the freaky green alien girl from the future is? Just guess! No, guess! I'm not going to tell you! You have to guess!
And in other news, tonight is your last chance to see HOT BLOOD, the coolest show on the face of the planet.
VORTEX THEATER
11th Ave bet. 22nd and 23rd Streets
It's the only thing on that block besides UHAUL
(across the highway from Chelsea Piers)
Delicious bloody marys & sangria available for cheap-y
$15 for the show experience of your life
Very inspiring show, really!!
8 PM - do not miss it!
Monday, October 1, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Hello New York!
I've just wrapped up a whirlwind two-month tour to the UK and lived to talk about it. Tour diary, Delfino's Diatribe and photo journal to come very soon! But first -- I gotta get this listing out. Please post this to the place that you post things, attend, tell your friends and stuff. This show will feature oldies, goodies, and some new songs on the amazing pink flying V ukelele I picked up in Scotland. I didn't get bed bugs, but I did get this new audience pleasing instrument with which for to rock with (See photo above of me hanging out with my new uke at Gatwick Airport in England) and returned to the US slimmer, smarter and singler.
And while you're at the show, don't forget to pick up a new fancy pair of "Jessica Delfino Is Magic" panties, which sold like delicious finger cakes over in the UK.
Here's a description of the show Sept. 26th, I do hope to see you there:
Welcome Home Jessica Delfino!
Potty-mouthed quirk rocker Jessica Delfino is back in NYC after a two-month UK tour of festivals and cities around Ireland, Scotland and England, including her solo show, "Songs About Vaginas" debut and performances with Paul Provenza and Amanda Palmer at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and a radio appearance on uber-famous London's "Russell Brand Show" on BBC. Best known for being "banned by Youtube" and "denounced by the Catholic League" for her dirty ditties and jokes, tonight she is joined by Cock Lorge, The Pizzas and some of her more raucous pallies at Club Europa for a night of reuniting.
Wednesday, Sept. 26th, 2007
Club Europa
98 Meserole Ave (@Manhattan Ave)
Greenpoint, Brooklyn 11222
Phone: 718-383-2322
7 PM
$8
www.europaclub.com
www.myspace.com/jessydelfino
Monday, September 3, 2007
LONDON IS LIKE A SHITTIER NEW YORK
No offense, Londoners -- don't get pissed that I don't like your overpriced, overly concreted city. The people here are actually quite nice. It's more the city itself that bugs me, with it's vast borders, transport trifecta and streets that actually chill my spine more than the grimiest New York City hood ever has.
Don't get me wrong, I hate NYC, too. But after being here for a week, it's actually made me appreciate NYC, and that's not a good thing.
My shows here, however, have been terrific. I performed at Offline at JAMM (thanks to my friend Harry Leckstein with Freeport Records who set that up for me), which was more fun that sticking my finger into a light socket. I met tons of great people and saw some great acts, such as Mike Friedman - a deviant poet who just got married at Stonehenge a few days ago, (congratulations, Mike) the lovely and talented Final Girl and super cool band Gilbert. Brixton was cool, too -- I ate at an Erutrean Restaurant there which was the best meal I've had in weeks. There was a live jazz band jammin' out hard in the middle of the restaurant and I just slugged back Beck's and some kind of African veggie mush and took it all in with a cheerful grin.
I did a little in-store set at Scrappy from Milk Kan's invitation in front of about 12 people and even that was a lot of fun.
Last night I performed at Cross Kings on York Way in David Goo's show, which was just one of the most fun evenings I've had since I left NYC. The place is littered with overstuffed couches and board games and reminds me of my grandmother's house. Again, all the acts were superb -- especially Fiona Beven, Left With Pictures and especially especially David Goo. He is my new favorite performer, and one of my favorite finds on this trip.
I think that the quality of performers in London exceeds performers in NYC. The reason why, I think, is because performers in London don't seem to be bombarded with the shite we are in America. There are so many lame billboards and posters for loser shitheads who we are supposed to worship and support and I don't really see that here in London. As a matter of fact, I'm looking out over a large span of London at this moment and I do not see one billboard. That's something thing I love about Vermont, and the main reason why I will probably move there someday.
The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Player's run at Soho Theater has been going really well. The audiences here are just really awesome. The people here are intelligent, in general, and seem to recognize and appreciate good music and entertainment when they see it. Even little Rachel's show on Saturday morning was a total blast. There are two more shows left of hers -- on Sept. 8th and 15th -- I'll be playing a song in both shows, if you can believe it! I sing a very nice song that has nothing to do with vaginas or other parts.
Tonight I'm going to perform at 12 Bar on Denmark Street in Soho at 8 PM along with Jason Trachtenburg and some others, and if the shows I've already seen are any indication of what to expect, I can't wait.
More later...
No offense, Londoners -- don't get pissed that I don't like your overpriced, overly concreted city. The people here are actually quite nice. It's more the city itself that bugs me, with it's vast borders, transport trifecta and streets that actually chill my spine more than the grimiest New York City hood ever has.
Don't get me wrong, I hate NYC, too. But after being here for a week, it's actually made me appreciate NYC, and that's not a good thing.
My shows here, however, have been terrific. I performed at Offline at JAMM (thanks to my friend Harry Leckstein with Freeport Records who set that up for me), which was more fun that sticking my finger into a light socket. I met tons of great people and saw some great acts, such as Mike Friedman - a deviant poet who just got married at Stonehenge a few days ago, (congratulations, Mike) the lovely and talented Final Girl and super cool band Gilbert. Brixton was cool, too -- I ate at an Erutrean Restaurant there which was the best meal I've had in weeks. There was a live jazz band jammin' out hard in the middle of the restaurant and I just slugged back Beck's and some kind of African veggie mush and took it all in with a cheerful grin.
I did a little in-store set at Scrappy from Milk Kan's invitation in front of about 12 people and even that was a lot of fun.
Last night I performed at Cross Kings on York Way in David Goo's show, which was just one of the most fun evenings I've had since I left NYC. The place is littered with overstuffed couches and board games and reminds me of my grandmother's house. Again, all the acts were superb -- especially Fiona Beven, Left With Pictures and especially especially David Goo. He is my new favorite performer, and one of my favorite finds on this trip.
I think that the quality of performers in London exceeds performers in NYC. The reason why, I think, is because performers in London don't seem to be bombarded with the shite we are in America. There are so many lame billboards and posters for loser shitheads who we are supposed to worship and support and I don't really see that here in London. As a matter of fact, I'm looking out over a large span of London at this moment and I do not see one billboard. That's something thing I love about Vermont, and the main reason why I will probably move there someday.
The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Player's run at Soho Theater has been going really well. The audiences here are just really awesome. The people here are intelligent, in general, and seem to recognize and appreciate good music and entertainment when they see it. Even little Rachel's show on Saturday morning was a total blast. There are two more shows left of hers -- on Sept. 8th and 15th -- I'll be playing a song in both shows, if you can believe it! I sing a very nice song that has nothing to do with vaginas or other parts.
Tonight I'm going to perform at 12 Bar on Denmark Street in Soho at 8 PM along with Jason Trachtenburg and some others, and if the shows I've already seen are any indication of what to expect, I can't wait.
More later...
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
I'm In London!
Wow, the Edinburgh Festival was a sordid, bittersweet adventure that I don't know if I'll want to take again next year, but the future's so bright, I'm wearing atom bomb goggles. So, let's see what happens.
I'm in London now and here are the shows I have scheduled. I'm in good hands, staying at a friend's place in North London with all the bells and whistles one could hope for. I rode here with Phil Kay. His car broke down momentarily on the side of the road. We stopped to take a nap right in front of Killerby's Farm, and when we woke, the car wouldn't start. Don't get any ideas or make any jokes about us doing it in the back seat, the Saab was so full of dings and dongs, I barely had room to take a proper breath. But what a fun ride! We finally got the car to start once the clever tow truck driver showed up with the knowledge needed to make it happen.
If you are a friend / fan / rabblerouser and would like to entertain the idea of entertaining me during my stay here, please email me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com or myspace.com/jessydelfino. If you have a POOL or access to one, let's be friends and share some aqua related water adventures.
Here are my scheduled shows:
Saturday, Sept. 1st
Rachel Trachtenburg Morning Show
Soho Theater
21 Dean Street
11 AM
10 pounds (my computer doesn't have that fancy "L" button)
Saturday, Sept. 1st
as part of a Freeport Records Event
@ Soho Review Bar
Sunday, Sept. 2nd:
Folkadot
126 York Way
18 O'Clock (6 PM)
Free
Tuesday, Sept. 4th:
Good Ship
298 Kilburn High Rd.
8 PM - 11 PM
with Ben Tucker and other performers
Sunday, Sept. 9th
with Holly Walsh
More info to come on that one!!
Rachel's show again on the 8th and 15th
11 AM
Drop by and pick up a pair of my hand-detailed knickers sporting your favorite Jessica Delfino song quotes, 4 pounds each!
Wow, the Edinburgh Festival was a sordid, bittersweet adventure that I don't know if I'll want to take again next year, but the future's so bright, I'm wearing atom bomb goggles. So, let's see what happens.
I'm in London now and here are the shows I have scheduled. I'm in good hands, staying at a friend's place in North London with all the bells and whistles one could hope for. I rode here with Phil Kay. His car broke down momentarily on the side of the road. We stopped to take a nap right in front of Killerby's Farm, and when we woke, the car wouldn't start. Don't get any ideas or make any jokes about us doing it in the back seat, the Saab was so full of dings and dongs, I barely had room to take a proper breath. But what a fun ride! We finally got the car to start once the clever tow truck driver showed up with the knowledge needed to make it happen.
If you are a friend / fan / rabblerouser and would like to entertain the idea of entertaining me during my stay here, please email me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com or myspace.com/jessydelfino. If you have a POOL or access to one, let's be friends and share some aqua related water adventures.
Here are my scheduled shows:
Saturday, Sept. 1st
Rachel Trachtenburg Morning Show
Soho Theater
21 Dean Street
11 AM
10 pounds (my computer doesn't have that fancy "L" button)
Saturday, Sept. 1st
as part of a Freeport Records Event
@ Soho Review Bar
Sunday, Sept. 2nd:
Folkadot
126 York Way
18 O'Clock (6 PM)
Free
Tuesday, Sept. 4th:
Good Ship
298 Kilburn High Rd.
8 PM - 11 PM
with Ben Tucker and other performers
Sunday, Sept. 9th
with Holly Walsh
More info to come on that one!!
Rachel's show again on the 8th and 15th
11 AM
Drop by and pick up a pair of my hand-detailed knickers sporting your favorite Jessica Delfino song quotes, 4 pounds each!
Sunday, August 19, 2007
EDINBURGH UPDATE
So, I'm sitting in the computer room / VIP lounge here at The Green Room. This hang out spot reminds me of a college cafeteria in some ways, except the main course is whiskey and cobra beers. Mixed together. Actually, that reminds me of college, too.
My shows have been going pretty strangely. One night there are fourty people in the audience who wear their hatred for me like lapels on their coat pockets. Other nights there are eight of the most amazing, entertained people I've ever had the pleasure of titillating.
This festival has almost been a complete disaster. If my attitude were a little worse, I might have started taking prescription medication by now. But actually, I have been medicating myself...in a way...
I've gotten four reviews -- five if you count the shout out one journalist gave me for being their "favorite part" of Rachel Trachtenburg's morning show, which, by the way, has gotten better press than most people's shows.
Here they are:
Songs About Vaginas
Jessica Delfino
Three Weeks
Listening to Jessica Delfino in action is just like going down a deep, dark, disgusting hole with a smile. But only a smile, because this is amusing and winsome rather than laugh out loud funny - although she does have her moments. But enough cheap innuendo, because Miss Delfino is way past euphemisms. It's hard to be offended by someone who sings with her bizarre brand of manic innocence. And if you are offended...well what exactly were you expecting? I get the feeling that ladies may appreciate her loopy, but strangely knowing observations more - since many men will most likely settle for the cheap titillation value. It's disgusting, it's dirty and deep down, it's what you really, really want.
Rating: 3 out of 5
The Scotsman
I didn't just want a drink when I left this irritating little show, I wanted a radical hysterectomy. "If My Vagina Could Talk It Would Call Your Dick An Asshole," trills the most compelling advert for Sharia Law I have ever seen. WHen you see the horrors it can lead to, you realise oestrogen should be a Class A drug. (UK spellings are left in tact for the UK curious)
Rating: 1 out of 5
NOTE: This review was written by Kate Copstick, a notoriously evil woman-hating failed (ex) stand-up comedian uptight lesbian journalist. For the record, most lesbians do not like my act. They are made too uncomfortable by the fearlessness, openness and honesty which lies at the heart of what I do. Gay men, however, love it, because they love their vaginas. After she saw my show, she went to the bar where she proceeded to trash my show to anyone who would listen. The next morning, she went onto her radio show on the BBC and trashed it on the air for another full ten minutes. My show was packed the next night. Thanks, Kate! When will the powers that be learn that negative energy only helps my career?
List
Dirty but clever, shocking but sweet, sassy New Yorker Delfino dances a very funny line between girly and filthy with Songs About Vaginas. We are treated to sunny songs including "My Pussy Is Magic" but rather than smut for the sake of it, she uses her front bottom songbook to deal with emotionally charged break ups, inhibitions and unemployment. Her deadpan style lets her get away with murder.
Rating: 3 out of 5
Hairline
The chosen venue, a small room within the Green Room, is certainly suited to the performance. Small, cave-like, hot and steamy it feels so intimate, like we are entering Jessica's own womb.
Jessica is a confident and beautiful woman who appears to have taken a keen interest in her own sexuality and is happy to share her thoughts on the matter.
As she begins her first live song singing the words, "If My Vagina Could Talk...", we get the impression the vagina, in her eyes, is its own separate entity and deserves all the attention that she gives it. This notion seems supported by the dialogue between herself and the larger than life vagina that accompanies her for the show.
As a performer, she is skilled in her art. Her voice is a pleasure to hear that bares more than a passing resemblance to a young Joni Mitchell, sweet and powerful, and it complements her clever, humorous and satirical songs beautifully. The audience giggles uncontrollably throughout and loudest at a song about leaving her partner due to their inability to give good oral sex.
Jessica Delfino is an artist and an entertainer. She senses her audience's mood and works with it. It would be interesting to see her play to a larger audience as the impression is that there is a lot more to this woman than a small hot room and a small sedated audience.
Rating: 4 out of 5
So, those are my reviews thus far. I've heard the last week gets even wilder, review wise and other wise.
Reggie Watts' late night shows have been packed and awesome for the whole festival, consistently good times. Paul Provenza quit his run of shows that he was doing here. Rick Shapiro got completely naked on one of Paul's shows, that was lots of fun.
In other gossip and festival news, Christopher officially broke up with me so now I am a single woman. He broke up with me on the second day of the festival. I've really been trying to break up with him for over two years now, so he really just finally gave me my way.
If you've been wanting to send me love letters, sweet nothings and fan mail but have been waiting, now is the time. My ego and heart are in the gutter (where my mind has been hanging out alone for awhile now) and i could use a little cheering up.
I'll be in London Sept. 1 - 17th doing shows there, so check my blog for more details...
So, I'm sitting in the computer room / VIP lounge here at The Green Room. This hang out spot reminds me of a college cafeteria in some ways, except the main course is whiskey and cobra beers. Mixed together. Actually, that reminds me of college, too.
My shows have been going pretty strangely. One night there are fourty people in the audience who wear their hatred for me like lapels on their coat pockets. Other nights there are eight of the most amazing, entertained people I've ever had the pleasure of titillating.
This festival has almost been a complete disaster. If my attitude were a little worse, I might have started taking prescription medication by now. But actually, I have been medicating myself...in a way...
I've gotten four reviews -- five if you count the shout out one journalist gave me for being their "favorite part" of Rachel Trachtenburg's morning show, which, by the way, has gotten better press than most people's shows.
Here they are:
Songs About Vaginas
Jessica Delfino
Three Weeks
Listening to Jessica Delfino in action is just like going down a deep, dark, disgusting hole with a smile. But only a smile, because this is amusing and winsome rather than laugh out loud funny - although she does have her moments. But enough cheap innuendo, because Miss Delfino is way past euphemisms. It's hard to be offended by someone who sings with her bizarre brand of manic innocence. And if you are offended...well what exactly were you expecting? I get the feeling that ladies may appreciate her loopy, but strangely knowing observations more - since many men will most likely settle for the cheap titillation value. It's disgusting, it's dirty and deep down, it's what you really, really want.
Rating: 3 out of 5
The Scotsman
I didn't just want a drink when I left this irritating little show, I wanted a radical hysterectomy. "If My Vagina Could Talk It Would Call Your Dick An Asshole," trills the most compelling advert for Sharia Law I have ever seen. WHen you see the horrors it can lead to, you realise oestrogen should be a Class A drug. (UK spellings are left in tact for the UK curious)
Rating: 1 out of 5
NOTE: This review was written by Kate Copstick, a notoriously evil woman-hating failed (ex) stand-up comedian uptight lesbian journalist. For the record, most lesbians do not like my act. They are made too uncomfortable by the fearlessness, openness and honesty which lies at the heart of what I do. Gay men, however, love it, because they love their vaginas. After she saw my show, she went to the bar where she proceeded to trash my show to anyone who would listen. The next morning, she went onto her radio show on the BBC and trashed it on the air for another full ten minutes. My show was packed the next night. Thanks, Kate! When will the powers that be learn that negative energy only helps my career?
List
Dirty but clever, shocking but sweet, sassy New Yorker Delfino dances a very funny line between girly and filthy with Songs About Vaginas. We are treated to sunny songs including "My Pussy Is Magic" but rather than smut for the sake of it, she uses her front bottom songbook to deal with emotionally charged break ups, inhibitions and unemployment. Her deadpan style lets her get away with murder.
Rating: 3 out of 5
Hairline
The chosen venue, a small room within the Green Room, is certainly suited to the performance. Small, cave-like, hot and steamy it feels so intimate, like we are entering Jessica's own womb.
Jessica is a confident and beautiful woman who appears to have taken a keen interest in her own sexuality and is happy to share her thoughts on the matter.
As she begins her first live song singing the words, "If My Vagina Could Talk...", we get the impression the vagina, in her eyes, is its own separate entity and deserves all the attention that she gives it. This notion seems supported by the dialogue between herself and the larger than life vagina that accompanies her for the show.
As a performer, she is skilled in her art. Her voice is a pleasure to hear that bares more than a passing resemblance to a young Joni Mitchell, sweet and powerful, and it complements her clever, humorous and satirical songs beautifully. The audience giggles uncontrollably throughout and loudest at a song about leaving her partner due to their inability to give good oral sex.
Jessica Delfino is an artist and an entertainer. She senses her audience's mood and works with it. It would be interesting to see her play to a larger audience as the impression is that there is a lot more to this woman than a small hot room and a small sedated audience.
Rating: 4 out of 5
So, those are my reviews thus far. I've heard the last week gets even wilder, review wise and other wise.
Reggie Watts' late night shows have been packed and awesome for the whole festival, consistently good times. Paul Provenza quit his run of shows that he was doing here. Rick Shapiro got completely naked on one of Paul's shows, that was lots of fun.
In other gossip and festival news, Christopher officially broke up with me so now I am a single woman. He broke up with me on the second day of the festival. I've really been trying to break up with him for over two years now, so he really just finally gave me my way.
If you've been wanting to send me love letters, sweet nothings and fan mail but have been waiting, now is the time. My ego and heart are in the gutter (where my mind has been hanging out alone for awhile now) and i could use a little cheering up.
I'll be in London Sept. 1 - 17th doing shows there, so check my blog for more details...
Monday, August 13, 2007
The Trip From Hell
Edinburgh, though beautiful and mild, has been almost a complete disaster. It started sucking in NYC when I was rushing for the train and one heart from my favorite pair of pink heart earrings slipped off my ear, fell to the ground and cracked in half. I took that broken heart to be a bad omen. How could I not? The nasty mojo carried on with me to the plane and straight into Dublin. The festival there was fun but of course I was treated like a leper by certain uptight dick wads with my inappropriate brightly colored clothing and my songs about vaginas.
I had some really good sets at the International Bar, even though my one big show at the Bud Light Festival, thanks in part to technical difficulties, was an atrocity.
And I sold lots of "My Pussy Is Magic" panties, which was encouraging.
My friend, who I was supposed to drive to Edinburgh with, changed his plans and it turned out I'd have to fly from Dublin instead. Anyone who knows me knows that flying is my least favorite thing to do. Ever.
Luckily, I got to fly with England-based performer Dr. CocacolaMcDonalds, who I like very much. He reminded me of America, which at this point, I was almost beginning to miss. No one or thing can abuse me and get away with it the way that NYC does.
That's just the beginning of this shit storm. But writing this is depressing me. So more later, including my first review and what it said...can you guess?
Edinburgh, though beautiful and mild, has been almost a complete disaster. It started sucking in NYC when I was rushing for the train and one heart from my favorite pair of pink heart earrings slipped off my ear, fell to the ground and cracked in half. I took that broken heart to be a bad omen. How could I not? The nasty mojo carried on with me to the plane and straight into Dublin. The festival there was fun but of course I was treated like a leper by certain uptight dick wads with my inappropriate brightly colored clothing and my songs about vaginas.
I had some really good sets at the International Bar, even though my one big show at the Bud Light Festival, thanks in part to technical difficulties, was an atrocity.
And I sold lots of "My Pussy Is Magic" panties, which was encouraging.
My friend, who I was supposed to drive to Edinburgh with, changed his plans and it turned out I'd have to fly from Dublin instead. Anyone who knows me knows that flying is my least favorite thing to do. Ever.
Luckily, I got to fly with England-based performer Dr. CocacolaMcDonalds, who I like very much. He reminded me of America, which at this point, I was almost beginning to miss. No one or thing can abuse me and get away with it the way that NYC does.
That's just the beginning of this shit storm. But writing this is depressing me. So more later, including my first review and what it said...can you guess?
Friday, July 27, 2007
HANGIN' OUT IN DUBLIN
I'm in Dublin and the weather here is more bi-polar than my most disturbed family member. It's sunny for five minutes and then cold and raining. And like that, on and on.
I did my first show last night at International Bar -- what a cool place. The show is run by Aidan Bishop, who is American but has been in Ireland for awhile now and seems to be doing pretty well here with his charming New York accent and his adorable face, not to mention some good jokes. It's reminiscent of NYC's Rififi, but the place has probably been there for 300 years.
The venue was packed solid. If there were any more people in the place, they would have had to sit on the stage -- oh, wait, they did. Each side of the stage was lined with 5 people, which was...a resourceful use of space. The Irish are so brave!
There wasn't even enough room for performers to watch the show. They had peep holes so we could see the show through the wall. So many faces had been smooshed up against that wall, there were imprints of faces worn into the old paint.
I love Irish people! I did some of my brashest material and the Irish took it like troopers. After the show, I sold a bunch of CDs and even sold some of my fancy new "My Pussy Is Magic" panties, I mean, "knickers" to the ladies. Some men even tried to buy some, but I didn't bring any man panties with me to the show.
Tonight I will play at 7 PM at the Iveagh Gardens / Bud Light Festival show and then I'll go back to the International Bar at 9.
OK, see you later. I'm going to go get emotionally fucked with by the weather for awhile.
I'm in Dublin and the weather here is more bi-polar than my most disturbed family member. It's sunny for five minutes and then cold and raining. And like that, on and on.
I did my first show last night at International Bar -- what a cool place. The show is run by Aidan Bishop, who is American but has been in Ireland for awhile now and seems to be doing pretty well here with his charming New York accent and his adorable face, not to mention some good jokes. It's reminiscent of NYC's Rififi, but the place has probably been there for 300 years.
The venue was packed solid. If there were any more people in the place, they would have had to sit on the stage -- oh, wait, they did. Each side of the stage was lined with 5 people, which was...a resourceful use of space. The Irish are so brave!
There wasn't even enough room for performers to watch the show. They had peep holes so we could see the show through the wall. So many faces had been smooshed up against that wall, there were imprints of faces worn into the old paint.
I love Irish people! I did some of my brashest material and the Irish took it like troopers. After the show, I sold a bunch of CDs and even sold some of my fancy new "My Pussy Is Magic" panties, I mean, "knickers" to the ladies. Some men even tried to buy some, but I didn't bring any man panties with me to the show.
Tonight I will play at 7 PM at the Iveagh Gardens / Bud Light Festival show and then I'll go back to the International Bar at 9.
OK, see you later. I'm going to go get emotionally fucked with by the weather for awhile.
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