MY PROTEST-IVAL WEEKEND

This past weekend was brimming with movement. Friday kicked off the Theater for the New City's Lower East Side Festival of the Arts, which I was very excited to be an assistant director of, in addition to performing in this year. 

I did sneak out / take a quick break from the festival, though, in the early part of Friday to zip over to the BP station and make a statement with my Shakespearean inspired sign. 

It made me very glad to be the lead photo on the Gothamist coverage of the "flash protest" that ran from 6 - 6:15 pm, and I'm equally as delighted to have my face cut out of the photo, as I did briefly sneak out of work to be there! I am lucky to have had the help of a great staff and crew who barely missed me. 

Here are a few links if you're curious to read about the protest, which demonstrated people's disgust with the handling of the BP oil spill. I am quoted in an Associated Press article, where I simply say, in a nutshell, that I can't believe the world is still going, business as usual, with something this catastrophic going on in the background. It made me stop and speak out, and if you haven't yet, I hope it will inspire you, too.

Michael Moore's website / AP 

Fox News

Gothamist

1010 Wins

USA Today

Friday night, I took 25 of my friends to see "The Room" at Village East Cinema at midnight. I performed an opening intro and song on my electronic autoharp a.k.a. Q-chord (it is like a piano from the future, or something a witch might play in the woods.) In mid song, I ask the audience if they'd like to say hi to Mark, wherein, I called Mark's (Greg Sestero) cell number and asked the entire room on the count of 3 to yell, "Oh, hi Mark!" I then gave away a limited edition tee shirt of Greg naked, covered in spoons and we watched the hell out of "The Room". 

That film and Rocky Horror Picture Show are the only two examples I can think of where white people get to scream at the film being played in the movie theater, and it's a lot of fun. 

If you want to see The Room, you get another chance on Wed June 9th at midnight, when we will screen it after Skits'N'Tits. If you arrive at 10 PM, your $8 ticket to Skits'N'Tits gets you a seat and admission to Skits'N'Tits. Or you can just come at midnight and get your ticket for $8 at the door. Don't forget to bring your plastic spoons -- please get them from McDonald's or home, don't spend money on a box of spoons! It's too wasteful. 

MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE ROOM (wiki page)

Yesterday was the outdoor portion of the TNC Festival of the Arts which took place on 10th St. between 1st and 2nd Ave. It was a beautiful day, and my friends Jena Friedman, Kyle Thompson and I all got to enjoy fun and energetic sets in front of a large, enthusiastic audience. 

The festival carried on into the night inside the Theater for the New City, with performances in two theaters by Zero Boy, many great dance troupes, musicians such as Richard West who produced the outdoor street show, Lissa Moira and many others. Tonight, the festival continues with poetry all day, and then a variety of performances including dance, music, theater, cabaret and more from 6 pm until 1 am tonight. It's all free and open to the public. And if that weren't enough, as an added bonus, I'll be performing at 11 PM! 1st Avenue at the corner of 10th St. 

See ya there, come and hang out with me. I'll be there from 5 PM on, helping the ship run smoothly. Bring me a cupcake, a soda, or a hug. 

Theater for the New City 

FESTIVAL of the ARTS

Open Letter To BP

This is a letter I sent to BP's press contact, after I visited their website. I was beyond dismayed to find that there was no apology in plain view on the website. Please feel free to copy this email and send it to BP, yourself. Will it work? Let's see what happens!

***********

To: BPpress@BP.com

BCC: US Senator Charles Schumer, US Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, Representative Jerrold Nadler, Representative Nydia Velazquez, NY Times, NY Magazine, The Lo Down Lower East Side NYC Blog, NY Post, Mara Haseltine, Gothamist.com, Gawker.com, NY Press, Crains NY, Time Out NY, Paste Magazine, Clear Magazine, Downtown Express, NY Post, Daily News,MSNBC, SoHo Journal, FHM Magazine, Art Cat, Flavorpill.net, The Villager, Gay City News, NY Blade, Morgan Spurlock, Fox News, Red Eye With Greg Gutfeld, Pitchfork Media, Grand Street News, Venus Magazine, NY1, The Brooksville Belle and other esteemed members of the press and arts community

Open Letter To BP

To Whom It May Concern: 

I wish the subject were a real headline, and it easily can be. 

Please consider placing a large, permanent apology to the world in a large, bold font at the top of BP's website homepage and on every page of BP's website. Frankly, I'm shocked that there is not one in plain view. If it is because BP is not sure what to write, may I suggest, "We are intensely sorry for the potentially permanent damage and destruction that our carelessness has caused to the planet", or something to that effect.

I would like to recommend that BP own up to this mistake with more gusto. I believe it will help society to be slightly more forgiving of this dire situation.

I personally find the lack of a frank and bold apology in plain view on your website to be a direct insult to the entire planet. 

Sincerely,

Jessica Delfino

NY, NY

NEW DIRECTIONS, NEW MOTIVATIONS, 

CHANGE IS GOOD

A few weeks ago, my mother said to me, "What do you think about the BP oil spill?" She was the first person to ask me that question. "It is bad," I said. Up until then, I hadn't really given it a lot of thought. I mean, it was like I said. It is bad, and no one, not even BP executives, think it's "good". But, she planted a seed in my head that I haven't been able to shake,  like a song that is playing on repeat in my brain. I began to ask others that same question. "What do you think about the BP oil spill?" It's pretty much unanimous, no one likes it. But at a time when people can "like" and "unlike" things so easily and then disassociate themselves with one apathetic click, "unliking" this event is just not nearly enough for me. 

I grew up on, near, in and around water, in a coastal New England town. I spent some of my most important years and recall some of my best memories on the beaches, in the ocean, beside the ocean. "The Ocean" is one of my favorite songs by Led Zeppelin, and I was raised and cared for by the ocean's bounty, as my dad was a lobster middle man for probably close to 20 years. I ate so much lobster as a kid, I begged for pizza. The ocean means something to me. 

I digested those points, then, yesterday I awoke, and I sat up in bed thinking to myself, "I have to do something about the ocean." It was that sentiment which made me drag my sorry, hung over ass out of bed and get dressed, while my warm boyfriend and cat and bed tempted me and made me wish I could just sleep in. But I had to get up, because I was forcing my aloof self to go to the Green Salon, a symposium my brilliant artist activist friend Mara Haseltine brainstormed and brought to life. As we ate a vegetarian brunch, we listened to leaders in their field of research and speakers of all ages, even a few teens, talk about what they are doing to help the oceans. It was inspirational and magical. It was the medicine I needed, and the event was full of the teachers and guidance I was looking for. 

I have so much to say, I want to write so much about it, but it'd probably be about as interesting as me telling you about the dreams I had last night. But in a nut shell, I want to use my art and music and voice to save the ocean, whatever that entails, whatever that means. I am literally sickened by being a shill in this antiquated system and I want to see and encourage changes. I can't sit back any more and do nothing. From now on, I will use the power of my vagina songs for good, and I will start by no longer trivializing them and simply calling them vagina songs. Anyone who knows me and appreciates what I do knows that there is more to me and my work than that. And shame on anyone who has shared that misconception or participated in that lie. But I forgive you, and I'll hear you out if and when you're ever ready to talk about it, and learn and grow as a human being.

So, to start, if you can believe it, I've written this week's dirty folk rock SONG OF THE MONTH in line with this new plan. It's dirty, it's ribald, it is as quirky and silly as ever, and I hope it will plant an idea in some of your heads, as my mother's words did to me. I'm not exactly a hippy, I sort of hate hippies. I'm not going to start behaving in a gross hippy way, and if I do, please call me out on it. My music and art and voice is who I am and what I have to offer, what I can and will offer. I also am able bodied, and have my health and some time, so I have those things to offer, too. 

Listen in tonight at www.nyctalentshow.com or attend 10:30 PM, The Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, to hear the new song. If you like it, send it to a friend. 

And if this is something that is of interest to you, let me know the answers to these questions: What are you doing to help the ocean, and how can I help you? I want to hear your ideas. If you don't know what to do or how to help but want to, then get in touch and I'll let you know how you can help.

I'll leave you today with a thinker: If everybody would refrain from using public transportation or driving for ONE DAY ONLY, world wide, what kind of impact would that have on the world? What kind of message would that send? Is that something we could do, realistically? One day only -- a DON'T DRIVE day. Think about it and let me know your feedback.

TONITE: Artists In The Kitchen kicks off

Like Dumbo's open studios but in Hell's Kitchen! With performances, artists, gallery viewings and more, and it's ALL FREE, starting tonight with a free reception, open to all. I'll be performing twice as part of it, as well. Reception and my performances info below. Hope to see ya there! For map of events and more details of the festivities, visit artistsinthekitchen.org or to go straight to the MAP, click HERE

Opening Reception: 

Skyline Hotel Ballroom

725 10th Ave.  

Free

catered, live music DJ all sorts of dancing body painting 

gift bags for early birds

open to the public

I'll be doing full, extended Dirty Folk Rock sets on Sat & Sun: 

Sat, May 22

Artists In The Kitchen Festival

Times Square Arts Center, Theater 2

"Comedy In Song"

669 8th Ave bt 42/43

2-3 PM

*I'll be doing an hour long set!

And again:

Sunday, May 23

Artists In The Kitchen Festival

Times Square Arts Center, Theater 4

"Comedy In Song"

669 8th Ave bt 42/43

7:20 - 8 PM

I'll have CDs on hand to sell and a sharpie for which to sign your spectacular breasts with, so please bring them along. My set guarantees fun for the whole family, except for the kids. 

TONIGHT: 

BESTIES!!! HOORAYYY!!!!

Besties -- They're not just people who water your plants when you're out of town, invite you to pot lucks and clothing swaps and listen to your problems. This comedy show celebrates good friends -- who they are, why we like them and what their deal is. 

Every month, Jessica Delfino will introduce you to some of her favorite home slices who incidentally are mostly comedians, performers and loveable oddballs she's met in the last 8 years of performing all over the world. Join the party as she celebrates them in fun and strange ways. Bring  your own pals and make new ones. 

THIS MONTH: Stone & Stone, Giulia Rozzi, Chesley Calloway and more.

Also featuring house band "PUSS & BOOBS" starring Jessica as "Puss" and Lauren Oppelt as "Boobs", singing hits by Pat Benatar, Heart, Eagles, etc, while dressed in fishnets, sparkly underwear & other miscellaneous & hot what nots!

Come see the ridiculous ways she honors these amazing performers and fall in love with them yourselves. Meet her friends, make new friends, bring your friends and we'll all friend it up.

Next show: 

TONIGHT: May 20, 2010

730 pm doors open

8 pm - 9pm  show

9 pm - 10pm drinks, mingling and friend time

$5 at the door

LAST SHOW BEFORE SLIPPER ROOM CLOSES IT'S DOORS FOR RENOVATION!!!

SONG OF THE MONTH club TONITE

Hey y'all! Be sure to catch the SONG OF THE MONTH club NEW SONG tonight at www.NYCTalentShow.com, 10:30 PM or shortly thereafter. I'm singing a song tonight about fellas with long hair. Is that you? If so, you won't want to miss what I have to say about you.

And if you're in the SOTM club, be sure to click THIS LINK and take my very brief questionnaire about the SONG of the MONTH club, kay? If you don't want to, that's OK, too. You can just read the questions and then write your answers to me in an email. 

I love ya, ya motha son of a gun!

SISTER STREET FAIR STREET SALE 

TODAY 12-4 PM

Because I don't want to be like Hoarders. A spin off of the nearby Hester Street Fair. All my stuff must go. Gorgeous vintage clothes I've been collecting for years, books, snacks, live musical performances. This and every Sunday 12-4, weather permitting. Featuring other ladies selling their wares, as well. F to East Broadway, intersection of Ludlow and Canal, at TriBeCa EAST. Look for the triangle full of cute girls.

TONIGHT! 

Skits'N'Tits! New hair cut! 

If you come to Skits'N'Tits, tonight, you will possibly win a large sexy toy, you will hear a new song by me as you look at my new hair cut (hint: my long luscious locks are all gone-sies) and you will be titillated and tickled and possibly traumatized to death. Now, doesn't that sound like fun? See ya there, 308 Bowery at 10 PM, NYC. Line-up and more details below!

TONIGHT's line up: 

TONITE’S LINE UP: (order subject to change)

Please welcome the sexy stylings of LEGS MALONE!

Mother’s Day is over, but it’s not too late to get mom a gift! The SKITS’N’TITS gals advise.

Voted funny by important people with pens! You, too, will adore CLAUDIA COGAN!

He writes for SNL. He starred in a Comedy Central show. It's HANNIBAL BURESS!

This hot mama is about to make you hers. Burlesque by KATE VALENTINE!

Comedian, beauty, thinker, writer for Jimmy Kimmel, jokes by SARA SCHAEFER!

Let’s take a look back at some of the best video moments of SKITS’N’TITS!

Are your eyes open & looking at the stage? Cause hot is about to happen: DELLA DARE!

Wow! It’s finalist in the Andy Kaufman awards + well-traveled funnyman MIKE AMATO!

Ms. DIANE O’DEBRA has a few hilarious things to say, so look at her and listen to her.

Folk music with dirty lyrics, like if Joni Mitchell was raised wrong! JESSICA DELFINO!

They’re a trio of amazing, titillating, burlesque-ating ladies – THE CHI CHIONES!

STICK AROUND at MIDNITE for a DANCE PARTY and late night drinks & mingling.

TONIGHT’S SHOW IS SPONSORED BY:

BILL & SHEILA DANZIG

Authors of: “Invisible Marketing: How to be Known as an Expert by Becoming an Author (Without Writing a Word)”

Pick up a copy of their book, loaded with comics written by “Skits” chic JESSICA DELFINO, from Duv the doorman TONIGHT!

If you purchase one for $10, you will get a code for a FREE consultation (normally $150) by

Bill & Sheila about how to write your own book! Ask Jessica about the book for more details!

*

KONG MAGAZINE

Kong has a strong emphasis on females appreciating porn and comedy. Comedy + Sex = KongMagazine.com.

Check out the website, read, laugh, jerk off, whatever.

*

SKITS’N’TITS produced monthly by Diane O’Debra, 
Steph Sabelli & Jessica Delfino    

Want to sponsor our show? 
Email us: skitsntits@gmail.com

     Myspace.com/skits’n’tits 
skitsntits@gmail.com * facebook.com/skitsntits

Love, 

TONIGHT

Craftermath Craft Event

Craftermath TONITE! 7-9 PM at The Dressing Room, 75a Orchard. Free event with home made flowers, crafts and jewelry, $5 beer + whiskey special, short vids on the gold framed screen, free guacamole, 2 songs by me at 8:45 PM. Come network with like-minded fun artist peeps. See ya there! More info: http://www.craftermathnyc.blogspot.com

The week in preview

May 3-May 8

You get a good 5 chances to see me this week. Take a chance, will ya?

PS: Today is the LAST day to vote on Song of the Month (upper right hand corner of this blog), so PLEASE don't be a schlong, vote for a song.

Tonight (Monday) May 3: Song of the Month club performance @ NYC Talent Show, 308 Bowery -- I present a new song and announce the winner of the Song of the Month club for April. Watch online or attend live, $3 admission. You can also sign up to perform. 

Wednesday May 5: Craftermath craft event: Flowers and Fauna. Presenting a new array of homemade flowers and other crafts including jewelry, cartoons and kitsch objects, a re-presentation of Monday's JD Song of the Month, video shorts on the giant gold framed screen, happy hour $5 beer and whiskey shot bargain, free admission. 7-9 PM @ The Dressing Room, 75a Orchard St. just north of Grand. 

Thursday May 6: Hipster Carnival movie fun-raiser with a babe auction, terrific raffles (such as an iPod), live performances, DJs, kissing booth and more. 7-9 PM, @ White Rabbit, 145 E. Houston, $10 includes one free drink. 

Friday May 7: Thank Cock It's Friday quirky music event starring THE Mr. Cock Lorge, the male Jessica Delfino (or am I the female Cock Lorge?). 8 PM @ Pianos, Ludlow @ Stanton, $5. 

Saturday May 8: Secret awesome late night event in Dumbo for adventure lovers, email me for details. jess delfino at yahoo dot com.

Need something to do on Sunday? May I strongly suggest you come to Keith and the Girl's bingo night at the Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, 6 - 9:30, it's always a great time. www.katg.com

Don't be a dink, come see a show. Or two.

The Room @ Zeigfeld

This event has been so over covered. I'm just glad I got to hang out with friends, because it was pretty overwhelming to be in the middle of that mess. My ex, Kurt Metzger, introduced Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero before the movie, and his current gf Karen (who yes, I'm friends with) and her friend Jessie were the lovely ladies on either side of Tommy, his black beauties. Tommy talked for a minute and then answered about a dozen questions, such as, "What is in your cargo pants pockets?" (Answer: It's personal!) 

The gals escorted Tommy out of the theater afterwards, as the Room-"honoring" video which starred Kurt, comedians Jay Oakerson and Rachel Feinstein, among others, played on the big screen, complete with an amazing video / music re-mix of Tommy (Johnny) saying, "I did not hit her, I did not!" I smell a summer jam. 

The entire movie screening, Greg and Tommy were in the lobby, meeting friends and fans, getting interviewed, having their photos taken, etc. while I sat in my little enclave of pals, nervous-ate popcorn, winced, laughed, gasped, and tossed the hell out of some spoons. (The set is oddly decorated with framed spoons, so whenever a spoon is spotted, the audience would launch hundreds of plastic spoons into the air. It was an amazing sight to behold.) 

After the movie, the line stretched around the block of people waiting to get pics and hugs from Tommy and Greg. This was at 2:30 or so am. 

I've heard of the movie for awhile now, and even introduced the film at a Kong Magazine screening a few months ago, but I was hosting and managing 2 floors of events, and thus, I couldn't really watch the entire movie. So it was technically the first time I got to see the film in its' entirety.

I am not really a mob mentality type, but I must admit, I'm hooked. I see the appeal. Not since "Can't Stop The Music" starring Steve Guttenberg have I seen something so magical. Not since "Ghostbusters" have I seen a movie so quotable. It's so loveably bad that it couldn't possibly be an accident. Or is it simply impossible to be that good on purpose? I'd like to see Quentin Tarantino pull it off. 

Either way, do yourself a favor -- Go see it at a late night screening next week at Village East. If you live in the woods, buy it on DVD, invite a gaggle of pals over on a Friday night, and recreate the magic at home. 

Related links: 

Entertainment Weekly Zeigfeld Review / Summary

NY Post article

Tommy Wiseau on Fox News Red Eye a few nights ago

Oh, Hi, Mark!

TONIGHT: THE ROOM @ ZEIGFELD

It's a sordid tale of a love triangle gone wrong -- terribly wrong. If you've never seen this film, I am sorry, you're going to have to put it on Netflix or borrow it from a pal because the screening tonight at the Zeigfeld is SOLD OUT!

It's been called the worst movie ever made and cost 7 million dollars to make. It's also been called a dark comedy and the Wikipedia page write up on it is truly amazing. If you have 10 minutes and want to laugh, cry and be confused, go to the Wiki page and read it right now! 

My favorite character (as is many people's) is Mark, or Greg Sestero. Not only is he dashingly handsome and blessed with good hair, but he is funny and he sucks at Scrabble. My kind of guy! I promise to write a full debriefing of the screening tomorrow, so come back and read my follow up laterz. And pick up a copy of today's NY POST to read a little more about Greg.

Here's an interesting side note: my ex-boyfriend of several years, Kurt Metzger is going to be at the screening tonight to present a short video and intro for the film. Kurt is a truly gifted comedian and thinker and got connected through this I believe through his role as the voice of the zombie roommate in Ugly Americans, though I'm not exactly sure how it all ties together.  Anyway, he is the king of dissection, and I can't wait to see him skewer this flick. More to come soon!

No, Kurt doesn't have down's syndrome, he is just making a funny face and celebrating his birthday.

PS -- If you haven't voted for Song of the Month yet, do it now! Upper right hand corner. 

SO MUCH TO DO TONITE, Comedy Central considers Delfino

Fun show on Thurs, ask for details

If you don't know what to do tonight, check out this laundry list of fun stuff: 

* How I Learned at Happy Ending, 8 PM, FREE

* Kong Magazine Party, 7 PM, FREE

* ComedySmack at Caroline's

* Crazy crafts show / reading at Housing Works, 7 PM, FREE

* Comedy show at 1st and 1st

* Adira Amram at Fontana's? (I think)

And in other news: 

I'm focusing a lot on writing new music / recording a new album. For more info, send an email to jess delfino at yahoo dot com with the subject: SONG OF THE MONTH. 

I just sent my last CD, "I Wanna Be Famous" to Comedy Central per their request, in the hopes that they will produce my next CD. How can you help? Email and ask for more info. 

THIS THURSDAY NIGHT I'm performing in a really neat private show / taping in downtown NYC. Wanna come? Email me for the details -- I can't list it on my blog because it is not open to the public, but I can give away 3 sets of tickets for 2. 

SONG OF THE MONTH night 

at NYCTalentShow.com

I'll be singing my new song tonight, country-esque ballad, "Workin' On A Sunday" about the plights of, ya know, working on the lord's day, which is inspired by what I find myself doing nearly every stinkin' week. 

This song will go live across the interweb around 10:45 PM. The show starts at 10:30 and I'll be going up just a few acts in, so don't miss it! Watch live at www.nyctalentshow.com with your hosts Victor Varnado and Diane O'Debra. Or attend! It's $3 to get in, 308 Bowery @ Houston. Be there or I will do nothing about it at all. 

AND PLEASE VOTE to the right hand side of this blog for your favorite song -- it takes two seconds and if you don't vote, I might send you a song you don't want called George Bush. 

PS -- NEW Song of the Month CLUB CARD!! To get yours, join the club, send your mailing address, and don't be a wiener and NOT JOIN or send your mailing address. Isn't it cute? I drew it myself. Below, you can see the front and back, which when folded, makes one full complete card. Don't use this at an ATM machine, all you will get is pennies and maybe a stick of gum. 

Thanks!

Holy Happy Times 

(followed by Holy Horror Show)

BESTIES was the best. Nice audience including a lesbian bachelorette party in the house, the new band Puss & Boobs rocked (though I gotta say, the sound equipment sounded like shit -- I mean, literally LIKE SHIT -- like the same sounds one makes when creating turds) my friends are all awesome, we had a little after show drink and mingle, what can I say? I have good friends and that is why I do this show every month -- to do something nice for the amazing community of performers I'm surrounded and encouraged by on a daily basis. What a crew!

So that was holy happy times. 

Holy horror show started on the walk home. 

Of course, Ludlow Street and the surrounding vicinity are almost unwalkable from Thursday to Sunday am, and honestly, they should just shut the whole area down to cars during those times. I was carrying a gigantic sign that said "BESTIES", in addition to wheeling a wheely suitcase and toting a guitar on my back. There were people everywhere, partying, and I was bobbing and weaving to make my way down the street. As I came to that yuppy shit hole Libation, there was a huge crowd of people hanging out on the street in front, so I went through the VIP entrance side *just to walk through* when I was accosted by two nerdy white people (one of them black) holding clip boards. They barked at me that I couldn't walk through there! Go around! They yelled in unison, the human version of two small twin dogs, yapping in my face. I'm just walking through! I insisted, carrying tons of stuff and not wanting to have to deal with the crowd. No! Go around! The librarian hipster looking chic tweeted at me in an attempt to look tough and important with her stupid clip board. Her and the black white guy tried to block me off. Get out of my way! I yelled at them like a crotchety old lady. If I'd had a purse, I would have swung it. A third gentleman, the only one with any sense in his head, said, Go through. Thank you! I said, stumbling past with all my gear, and maybe yelling something about the place being a yuppie hell hole. 

I laughed a bit as I walked on, thinking about the scene, and how two dorks from Ohio and perhaps New Jersey could move to NYC and get jobs where they held clip boards and respected people with expensive clothes and had lost or perhaps, never had any appreciation for the humble performer, the people who give NYC the grit the world knows and loves, the MEs of NYC, the artists, musicians and wierdos that make this city smell of urine and money. I thought on it as I walked, but quickly became distracted by the new hellish scene I stumbled upon -- a woman crying hysterically into another woman's arms, as a handcuffed man lie in a pool of blood on the sidewalk, a car parked also on the sidewalk, with 3 plain clothes officers standing over him. 

I was just drunk and amped up enough to meddle. Is everything OK over here? I asked. I live on this block. Everything is OK, they assured me. Are you officers? I persisted. One showed me their badge. I scuffled over to the other side of the street feeling extremely helpless and questioning the exorbitant amount of money I spend on rent to live in a, um, nicer neighborhood. I chatted in spanish for a minute with a super who swept the sidewalk. Hola, he said. Que pasa? I asked. No se, he replied. Es OK? I pushed on in awkward 10th grade spanish. Si, he said. There was a fight, he answered me in english, to let me know that I probably should not ever be speaking spanish out loud. Oh, I said. I don't know what happened, he continued. I nodded and then, bored of hearing no details, I quickly scurried home so I could feel the familiar warmth of safety my apartment provides from the combat zone that downtown NYC becomes on a Thursday night. 

 Yesterday, Tomorrow

The BESTIES SHOW is THIS Thursday

Yesterday I spent the day running errands -- boring, right? No! It was actually kind of fun. It was 4/20, national pot smokers day, and I had a great time walking around, injecting paranoia into the lives of all the stoners on the street with some well-placed dramatic glances amid picking up recycling bags at Duane Reade and dropping letters into the mail box. Was I a spy? Their parent's friend? Or just a creep? They may never know. 

In the evening, I performed at a reading show called Kiss'N'Tell at Madame X. I never know what to expect when I do a show for the first time -- is this going to suck? Or should I have shaved my legs for this one and maybe brought a few extra CDs? Last night was the latter, but I was prepared with accidental freshly shaved legs and a handful of CDs in the bright pink Dickie gig bag my guitar lives in. What a terrific show. This is one for my peeps -- true tales all about sex, ranging in slightly ribald to downright filthy dirty. I even had a few accidental surprise friend sightings which is always fun, and made some new pals, too -- people who are not afraid to talk about jollies and ya yas and what not. My people, indeed. 

Tomorrow is the 2nd episode of my monthly show, BESTIES. If you were there for the first show, thanks for coming -- this one is going to be even bigger and better with a new, large handmade SIGN, a full BAND called PUSS & BOOBS starring myself and Lauren Oppelt on DOUBLE VOCALS like Heart -- awesome!! -- also guests ANDREA ROSEN, BEN LERMAN, DIANE O'DEBRA, LIVIA SCOTT, FRANK PEFFERCORN & JULIET JESKE. It's a show about friendship!

BESTIES

Slipper Room * 167 Orchard St. @ Stanton

7 DOORS

8 SHOW

9 DRINKS & MINGLING
$5 at the door

Bring friends, meet my friends, and make new friends.

Special thanks to one of my fave blogs, The Lo Down Lower East Side blog for featuring my show on yesterday's lo down!!! And a shout out to ComedySmack.com for listing the show!! Thanks guys, you sure know how to make a girl smile...down there.

My sister's dog got eaten by a bear,

Song of the Month tonight,
shout out to KATG

My sister's dog got eaten by a bear. RIP Jack Aulisio. He was a good dog. It happened a few days ago in North Carolina and I'm still really sad about it. My sister and brother in law have honey bees on their property so bears would sometimes linger nearby. Kinda scary, right? Jacky dog, protector of the property, lost the fight.

To switch out of sad gear, let's talk about music.

TONIGHT: I will play a new song for the SONG OF THE MONTH club at NYC TALENT SHOW, 308 Bowery, 10 PM. I will probably go on closer to 11ish. I will rock a new song called "Totes Inappropes" goin' out to Lauren Hennessey. Watch LIVE at www.nyctalentshow.com and VOTE for the song on my twitter account or FB page. Just comment "I like it" if you like it, or do nothing if you don't. Or email me feedback. The song with the most votes will get sent to the SONG OF THE MONTH club as an mp3 via email.

I'm making a new album so I could really use all of your suggestions and feed back!!

If you are NOT in the SONG OF THE MONTH club and would like to be, email subject: SONG OF THE MONTH to jess delfino at yahoo dot com and join the ding dang club! It's still free  for the time being, and it's an excellent, premiere time waster.

A shout out to Keith, Chemda and the crew, friends and fans of KATG for an awesome, awesome weekend. L' Chaim, peeps.

FUN FILLED WEEK holy shazam

and good stuff on the horizon, too

This week has really been something else, jam packed with a varied, eclectic and sparkly collection of shows, including Literary Death Match, Skits'N'Tits and Keith & The Girl's Keith's Annual Birthday Show, Match Game & Bingo and culminating this Sunday with Deep Traffic at The Magnet Theater.

Literary Death Match at Piano's was wicked fun. Care for a run down? Click this beeyotch right here. 

Skits'N'Tits was the most packed ever, thanks in part surely to Michael Musto's sweet plug on his Village Voice blog and the slew of KATG folks in town for Keith's birthday show and the other events. We actually had people waiting in a line for people to leave so they could then get in. That's the kind of show we run, peeps! The next Skits'N'Tits is Wednesday, May 12th so get your $5 tickets in advance or pay $8 at the door, but either way, be there. At the last show, we gave away 2 PBR lights which were awesome! And 2 pairs of Lamia Design's amazing halfsie gloves that retail for over $100 at Henry Bendel. Come next month and see what amazing things we've got up our sleeves or in our pantaloons. 

I tended bar last night at the Match Game and I don't mean to brag but I poured a mean "Hulk Juice" (ten parts vodka, 1/2 parts Mountain Dew) and by poured, I mean, literally pushed the spout button on the cooler. Diane O'Debra and I were swingin' behind the bar, a killer tag team assuring that all the mouths and stomachs in the house were gulping down goblets of green stuff. Didja like my alliteration there? I did. 

Yeah, I was wearing a crazy hat -- crazy awesome, that is, hand made by my amazing milliner friend Cha Cha of Cha Cha's House of Ill Repute. What about it? I'm fashionable, dammit. 

diet coke and red wine, not a good combo

Deep Traffic is my friend Adam Lerman's show and he's really something else. The kid has friends in the freezer and keeps meat in his pockets. You have to see his show or you're going to be disappointing society and hurting all of humanity. 

Sunday, April 18

Deep Traffic

@ The Magnet Theater

254 W. 29th btw 7th and 8th Aves

8 PM sharpsies

Finally, do not miss the BESTIES show next Thursday, April 22 at The Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St.,  starring Andrea Rosen, Ben Lerman, Diane O'Debra, Juliet Jeske, Livia Scott and Frank Peffercorn, and starring the Besties House Band, Puss & Boots. 7:30 PM, $5 at the door.

SONG OF THE MONTH 

a new creative time waster, week 2 / song 2 of April

It's almost time for my "SONG OF THE MONTH" at Diane O'Debra and Victor Varnado's newly re-arranged NYC Talent Show, tonight.


Here's how it works: 


Every Monday around 10:30 PM, I'll premiere a new song live onstage which you can watch online at www.nyctalentshow.com. 


If you like the song I perform, let me know. The song that gets the most shout outs / responses that month will get emailed to my Song of the Month club as an mp3, link or video for FREE!! There are other perks as well, including a free club card that gets you reduced admission to shows, drink specials, special offers and more. 


If you are not in the club, email jessdelfino at yahoo dot com with Song of the Month in the subject line. 

Tonight's SONG OF THE MONTH RUN DOWN: 

LAST WEEK'S SONG: I'm Proud To Be A Nerd

RESPONSE: I got 3 likes (and sold 4 CDs, which I count as 4 likes)

THIS WEEK'S SONG: What I'll Do If You Give Me A Dollar

TO BEAT LAST WEEK: 

I'll need at least 8 likes, that means, emails to me at jess delfino at yahoo 

dot com, comments, notes or likes on my FB page or my FAN page, 

comments on this blog, or Twitter action mentioning the song.

NOTE: If you heard last week's song and didn't comment but want to, you can still add likes to last week's song, and you can like more than one song per month. 


See ya online, round 10 pm tonight.